Meet the Staff: 2019-2020


EDITORS

Erin Kim - Co-Editor-in-Chief

From a young age, I’ve had a big heart. In my role as a nurse, I have employed that big heart and created a world of love and compassion around me.

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Anya Ernst - Co-Editor-In-Chief & Marketing Director

Ernst is an acclaimed horticulturist and flight attendant. She is most known for her work as Detective Sonny Carisi on “Law and Order: SVU” and for building the Eiffel Tower.

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Frankie Fanelli - Executive Editor & Online Content Editor

Frankie has now been promoted to Head Sleep Paralysis Demon and would like to announce that it is now MANDATORY to have a nightlight, please.

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Cas Kesig - Managing Editor & Production Aid

The grease... the grease... blurgh.


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Maddy Ernst - Online Editor-in-Chief

In her past lives, Ms. Ernst was many things. A Renaissance muse, a raccoon, a 1940s lounge singer, probably some kind of pastry, Jay Gatsby, and a 19th century socialite. In this life, she lives in the ditch across the street and, as a decent witch and astrologer, enjoys hexing the construction workers (which is why nothing is ever actually built there).

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Chelsea Schack - Multimedia Co-Editor & Evolution Radio Host

My very dear wife,

I am compelled to write to you as my time of dying approaches. I fear that within a fortnight, my time will be up, and I shall no longer grace God's green Earth. I wish you the best my dear, life your life thro' the fields of our home state, and raise Jim and Ezekiel to be Upstanding members of society. I realise that with my dying goes all the joys and pleasures of your maidenly life, and therefore, with a heavy heart, I must implore you to remarry. Find a suitable husband, Sarah, but if I may make a last request, be sure he stands on the side of democracy. As I write this, I hear cannons roar and men shouting. I fear that the Confederacy is gaining ground on us. I pray I find a courier before I perish, and that this letter finds itself in your graceful hands. God B.W.Y.,

Chelsea Schack

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Louis Tonkovich - Satire Editor

Louis Tonkovich wishes you would all stop asking them about the time they eloped with Michael Cera on a short but emotionally turbulent honeymoon which ended in a broken heart for Cera, and a broken wrist for Tonkovich. Yes, it happened. Neither Cera nor Tonkovich are on speaking terms.

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Kyle Keller - Multimedia Co-Editor & Evolution Radio Host

Kyle Keller is an American politician who served as the 42nd president of the United States from 1993 to 2001. In 1998, he was impeached by the House of Representatives for perjury and obstruction of justice following allegations that he committed perjury and obstructed justice to conceal an affair that he had with Monica Lewinsky, a 22-year old White House Intern.


STAFF

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Ana Soto - Staff Writer & Illustrator

The fourth horseman of the apocalypse, Ana spends most of her time practicing Ancient Roman warfare and tying snakes into complicated knots. Don't worry about her getting bit -- her saliva is the antivenom.

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Anica Sherry - Staff Writer & Staff Photographer

Anica Sherry is a solar-powered music box. That's all you need to know.

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Brianna Roesler - Photography Manager

Brianna is a mess.

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Corey LoDuca - Staff Writer & Illustrator

Corey is Freddie Mercury's eleventh, oft forgotten cat. Hobbies include dominating the squash, smuggling the chimps, and leading the roaches. An annex cockroach once said of Corey, "Glurgle glurgle glurgle. I'm a cockroach."


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Lauren Le - Staff Writer & Production Aid

Lauren is living proof science has gone too far and will probably die of some sort of defect that real humans haven't discovered yet. Her dad Gordon Ramsay says she's cool. Her notable works include the little heart behind the toilet in the second stall of the 4th floor boy's bathroom.

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Juliette Boland - Staff Writer

Juliette is OBSESSED with Doctor Who. She can give you a ten-page essay on why the Tenth Doctor is the best Doctor. Please don't fight her on this. She will get mad. She will also go on to tell you that the Twelfth Doctor is her second favorite, despite popular opinion. Again, don't fight her on this. She might hit you. She is SO obsessed with Doctor Who she created her own show where she can recap and review its episodes... She's insane.

Gabrielle Goodman - Staff Writer

Your friendly neighborhood garbage opossum.

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Jacob Aguilar - Staff Photographer

Chic.


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Sydney Coleman - Staff Writer & Evolution Radio Staff

Sydney is a wonderful, loving, and caring human being. She is passionate about the arts and has a lust for life. She enjoys drinking the nectar of the mango fruit mm mangoes. Jacob wrote this

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Molly Rae - Staff Writer

On most days, Molly Rae dishes some major whooped behind à la solo, recognizing that she'd probably brutally murder the Once-Good-Idea-Now-Inconvenient Lover™ who'd inevitably glom onto Molly's rambunctious, wildly successful lifestyle to her intense distaste and detriment (because the patriarchy leaves most ill-prepared to grapple with thriving women). On other days, Molly urges her friends, acquaintances, and random strangers to inundate The Bachelor's casting mailbox with nomination forms in her lonely, hopelessly romantic favor.

Emma Han - Staff Writer

Emma Han is a sophomore in the Visual Arts Conservatory and this will be her fourth year at OCSA. You may know her from VA's Winter Market as she runs the booth, SimplySewn, and sells handmade sock plushies, such as chickens, foxes, and koalas! Some of my favorite memories throughout her time at OCSA include volunteering as a CSArts TA, jamming out to music on 10th street, and creating new artworks everyday! In her spare time, she loves to read, draw, and craft. Emma looks forward to an awesome year in OCSA Evolution!

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Lana Valdez - Staff Writer

Lana is disassociating at the moment.


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Anna Iyer - Staff Illustrator

Probably not here today.

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Emerson Trotter - Staff Photographer

Emerson Trotter is the Golden Gate Bridge´s #1 Cleaner. He cleans the bridge every Monday and Wednesday so if you see him say hi! When he isn't cleaning the bridge he is working on his abstract paintings made of human urine and driftwood. Tschabalala Self once described his work as ¨A piece of popcorn you cannot get out of your mouth but you're not even mad about it.¨ He hopes you know that he drives a Ford Focus so stay off the road.

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Noah Frech - Staff Photographer

In a dystopian future where food is scarce, a monkey hunter travels the jungle hunting for chimps turning them into bowls of ape soup. This hunter is Noah, he gets dismembered and cannablized.

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Pierce Lewis - Online Aid & Evolution Radio Staff

Sometimes he tucks his knees into his chest, that's just how he rolls


Cassia Efthymiou - Staff Writer

Cassia Efthymiou, commonly known as the tawny bolete, is a species of bolete fungi in the family Boletaceae that is found in Europe. She is an uncommon bolete of unknown edibility that appears as a vulnerable species on some European Red Lists, and is considered critically endangered in the Czech Republic. Her preferred habitats include parklands, near oak trees.

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Monica Johnson - Staff Writer

Monica Johnson is just trying her best. Her hobbies include referencing Ferris Bueller's Day Off way too often and contemplating whether life is a simulation or not. Spoiler Alert: it is.

Will Lynam - Online Aid & Evolution Radio Staff

Will Lynam is a well respected and admired member of his community. With too many friends to count, Will sometimes struggles to find that precious alone time.

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Vivi Velasco - Staff Writer & Illustrator

Vivi is boolin with Lana atm.


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Jennifer Woo - Staff Writer

Jennifer is a junior in Integrated Arts, a passionate High School Musical 3 enthusiast, and a Khalid fan. She has a crush on 2008 Zac Efron, and her guilty pleasure is Dance Moms. She's also known as jenniwoohoo by many friends and family.

Karl Peterson - Staff Advisor

Our lord and savior, formerly knows as “A Honeydew with Eyes.”