The Tissue Epidemic

We live in a society. A society where allergies are apparently ignored, sinus infections are invalidated and the safety of students is put at risk. This is all due to a severe lack of biodegradable cellulose fibers, also known as Kleenex, in classrooms. As someone who is prone to developing every kind of sickness at every kind of event, not having immediate access to tissues within the first five seconds of having a runny nose can be troublesome, so I’m here to state my case and inform all teachers on why these boxes of magical scented relief are a necessity within the classroom. 

To put it quite simply, nothing detracts from a learning environment more than rivers of snot running from your nostril down to your upper lip. In this situation, a child is faced with a serious dilemma: either use Option A, their sweatshirt sleeve, Option B, the back of their hand, or Option C, the back of their neighbor's hand. Now imagine, after a student has made their Sophie’s choice, they resume their everyday learning routine, psychological effects lingering as the student considers whether a nearby classmate witnessed this act or if the crusty backhand will soon glisten off the classroom light, revealing their inhumane action to all. Soon, this backwash will be splattered onto every chromebook the student borrows, every desk the student tickles or every friend that they warmly bear hug. 

Now, a large percentage of students have a moral compass that guides them to want to prevent this dangerous outbreak of Snotageddon, so they make a beeline to the OCSA bathrooms. Although this method of prevention may seem to do the trick, each bathroom tissue trip requires students to sacrifice approximately 2.175 minutes of valuable learning time, and assuming this student is sick, that trip will have to be made a multitude of times throughout the block. Some teachers put a cap on how many bathroom trips one student is allowed to experience, forcing the inevitable backhand swipe. 

All I ask of you, OCSA teachers, is to help us help you. Please provide those magical scented biodegradable cellulose fiber squares in your classroom. Your family will thank you.