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Table of Contents

The Roots of Anti-Asian Hate

Kaon suh, jennifer Woo, anica Sherry

The Lockdown Experience

Mallory mckenna, Elena levin

Staff Reccomends: Things You Should Eat

lauren le

Frog Cake

lauren le

Keeping the House Fresh as Spring

aj miyake

The Real History of the Philippine Revolution of 18

mia soumbasakis

International Vaccines

kai matias-bell

OCSA eSports

cas kesig

Spring To-Do

ashley nguyen, mallory mckenna

Our Senior Representatives

zola franchi

Return to Campus 2021

Jennifer woo, Kai mattias-bell, Max mikkelsen, Zola franchi, Mallory mckenna

Organized Crime

erick ferrufino

Matthew Morrison Hate Club

max mikkelsen

Wanda Vision

mehra marzbani

The Benefits of Journaling

isabel hahn

Jennette McCurdy

summer zamiska

Senioritis

James Herde

Horoscopes

anica sherry, cas kesig

The Roots of Anti-Asian Hate

By: Anica Sherry, Kaon Suh, and Jennifer Woo

Note: the following article contains brief mentions of sexual, physical, and verbal assault.

On March 16, 2021, the 53rd anniversary of the My Lai Massacre, a white man committed a series of mass shootings, specifically targeting Asian massage parlors in order to "eliminate" the locations he viewed as "temptations." By the time he had been apprehended, he had killed six Asian women who worked in these parlors and two patrons. 

For those who are unfamiliar with the My Lai Massacre, on March 16, 1968, the US military murdered 504 unarmed Vietnamese civilians in the Sơn Mỹ village area in a search-and-destroy operation against members of the Viet Cong (aka the National Liberation Front of Southern Vietnam). The brutality of this massacre is almost too awful to describe: countless women and children were sexually assaulted and mutilated before they were killed, dwellings were set on fire and soldiers shot indiscriminately at anyone who escaped, villagers were pushed into ditches and shot at until there was no sign of movement. In the end, only one soldier was convicted (for the murder of 22 civilians), serving his sentence under house arrest for three-and-a-half years.

It is important to recognize that this horrific violence was not an isolated incident within this war. It is one of the most publicized and well known of an extensive history of war crimes, both reported and unreported, the US has committed not only in Vietnam, but in Cambodia, Laos,  the Philippines, Korea, Japan, and other numerous campaigns in the Asia Pacific. The nature of this horrific violence against noncombatants within these wars and conflicts is epitomized in the "Mere Gook Rule," (gook being a racial slur used primarily against those of Philippine, Korean, and/or Vietnamese descent) an unofficial policy during the Vietnam War. Because US soldiers had difficulty distinguishing civilians from enemy combatants, soldiers were allowed to harm or kill anyone they thought suspect. If it was discovered that the person murdered was actually a civilian, one would be punished lightly if at all, because in the end, the victims were only "mere gooks." In other words, the victims were not really worthy of mourning; they were other, alien and incomprehensible. It is in this way that the US military could simultaneously claim to be the saviors of the Vietnamese people while murdering, torturing, starving, and raping civilians without much hesitation nor impunity. In many ways, this racial violence was sanctioned and even enacted by the government rather than the soldiers, the widespread use of chemical exfoliants in Agent Orange in the Vietnam War, the destruction of nearly all of the cities and towns to the north of the 38th parallel during the Korean War, and the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, to name a few.

From the brothels of war, the Asian sex-tourism industry was born, with its roots in US imperialism. This phenomenon has stereotyped typically East Asian and Southeast Asian women as hyper-sexual, ever-consenting creatures that play into this racial power-dynamic between a white man and Asian woman. For instance, take a look at the musical Miss Saigon, probably the most well known example of this dynamic. US presence in foreign countries and US soldiers’ urgency to find relief in the bodies of Asian women has lead to the fetishization and depiction of them as sensual and exotic— and a target for sexual violence. This has long-lasting effects in both the affected countries and in America. Addressing Asian hate requires addressing the legacy of Asian violence taking place overseas and how that has infiltrated our society. 

What happened in Atlanta last month wasn’t the first sexually and racially motivated crime committed against Asian women in America. In 2002, graduate student Lili Wang was tragically murdered by Richard Anderson, a white man and fellow student at North Carolina State University. He admitted to liking Asian women in a note he wrote before shooting himself, because they’re “soft spoken” and “study hard.” 

"Stop Asian Hate" is a slogan and hashtag popularized in the wake of the Atlanta shooting. However, it did not invoke nearly the amount of reactionary backlash faced by the Black Lives Matter movement, another movement which called for racial justice, because “Stop Asian Hate" reduces deeply rooted systems of oppression to one of interpersonal physical and verbal violence, and does nothing to address the orientalism, the categorization of Asian people under a monolith of a perpetually incomprehensible, alien other created by the Western imagination, generate anti-Asian sentiments. Stop Asian Hate is empty.
Creator on Tiktok @haileyych, whose videos are dedicated to educating followers on Asian stereotypes and the experience of Asian-Americans, explained this concisely in a 60 second video. “Hate implies interpersonal feelings and individuals.” The word “‘hate’ doesn’t address any of those systemic issues because you can reduce it to a ‘bad apple,’” like someone having a “bad day,” such as what was implied of Robert Aaron Long, the shooter in Atlanta. Asian hate isn’t just hate that exhibits itself in singular, isolated events. It’s a narrative that allows violence overseas to continue by brutalizing and dehumanizing Asian people in America. 

If we are complicit to the US's imperialist expansions abroad, we become bystanders to both racial violence, both domestic and abroad. 

With recent spikes in outright attacks on Asian-Americans, many have called for increased policing as a solution. However, this is counterproductive as it often makes the situation more dangerous for the victims, who are disproportionately poor, undocumented and/or engage in sex work or sex-work adjacent labor. It is also often forgotten that Asian Americans historically have been the victims of policing, as shown last December in the murder of Christian Hall, a suicidal 19-year-old who called 911 to report a possible suicide attempt and as he walked forward with both hands above his head, was killed by the state troopers that were deployed to help him. Also, as shown through the words of Cherokee County sheriff's office spokesman, Capt. Jay Baker in the wake of the Atlanta shootings, who characterized the shooter as someone who was "pretty much fed up and kind of at the end of his rope," it is more often than not that the police relate to the perpetrators of these hate crimes rather than the victims. Moreover, policing and the criminal justice system are one of the backbones of institutional violence against BIPOC, especially Black people. Asian Americans must look elsewhere to find justice, as a system that brutalizes, murders, and incarcerates Black people, among many others, is an inherently unjust system.

The idea that once Asian Americans see themselves represented in politics and in media, that after they and the violence against them, become visible, will end anti-Asian hate is unfortunately a stumbling block for most Asian American activism. Asian Americans, regardless of how hard they try to assimilate into the dominant culture and power structures within the imperial core, are never completely spared from the alienation and racial violence that originate abroad. This scattered struggle to assimilate over centuries often favors the individual over the community; one who struggles to assimilate, whether it be from immigration status, language barriers, disabilities and so on, is not "more deserving" of racial violence than one who has assimilated. The Asians abroad who do not have the means to escape imperial violence and its implications within their homelands are also not "more deserving" of racial violence than an Asian American who has assimilated. Therefore, assimilation has never and will never lead to a halt in the perpetual violence against Asians that the United States commits both domestically and abroad.

Although the outpour of support for Asian Americans via donations, rallies, and social media boosting has been appreciated, after the dust settles and the viral headlines and brand statements fade in the memory of the American public, we must understand that the most important action that any of us can take against "anti-Asian hate" is to take a principled stance against US imperialism abroad. Also, instead of pouring money into nonprofits, contributing materially to mutual aid whenever possible is crucial in directly helping the most vulnerable members of the community, who are often the ones who are targeted by these attacks. Challenging and questioning our own beliefs, especially as it is more often than not built upon an understanding of history and worldview that cannot help but make exceptions for and even justify (neo)colonial violence, is something that every single one of us can do, yet is often swapped out for performative support in the form of sharing shallow, palatable Instagram posts and hashtags. 

The Lockdown Experience

By: Elena and Mallory

March 13, 2020. You probably remember exactly where you were and what you were doing the day the world shut down. Or maybe the previous day is even more ingrained in your mind. Naïve goodbyes to friends and teachers, that seemingly insignificant, rainy Thursday that became the last day at OCSA for countless students. At the beginning of last year, no one anticipated 2020 to end up the way it did. As the optimistic phrase “2020 vision” was thrown around, no one expected their ambitious plans to reinvent themselves for the new decade to be through a year-long lockdown. The situation escalated with unsettling speed, from the first reported case of COVID-19 in the United States in January to school and business closures a mere two months later. No one could have imagined that one year later we would still be lacking a sense of normalcy and logging onto Zoom for another school day, but here we are. Happy Lockdown Anniversary!

Quarantine at the beginning felt like a preview of summer. We had no idea what to expect; all we knew was that there were no obligations to do schoolwork for at least 2 weeks. This extended spring break consisted of whipped coffee, binging Netflix, and warm weather. Because the future at the time was so unclear, we hadn’t even considered the possibility of a virtual school year. It was almost as if there was no stress at all, and for a few weeks it felt like pure happiness.

During that time, the elusive COVID-19 was just that: unknown. It was portrayed as particularly harmful toward those who were “at risk”– the elderly, people with respiratory issues and the immunocompromised. To that end, almost every teenager thought they were invincible. March of 2020 came and went with parties, sleepovers, and beach days as the numbers continued to rise. It wasn’t until the contagion was beyond repair that everyone took a step back and understood how destructive this disease was. 

With the spread of false information pervading American society, it was difficult for anyone to know exactly how to protect themselves and others at the advent of this crisis. Although it seems like a lifetime ago, at the start of it all, masks weren’t a part of our daily attire. Now, it seems strange to imagine a future without them. 

Shifting into this completely different lifestyle on such short notice was extremely difficult. The shift to online was frustrating and led to a drop in students’ motivation while increasing their stress. Despite the attention brought to the positives of being in the comfort of your own home and getting to spend more time with your family, these comforts quickly faded as negative factors proceeded to arise. Through it all, it’s hard to pinpoint the greatest difficulty of this time. However, the obscurity of the future proved to be what we struggled with over everything else. 

At the present moment it’s difficult to determine whether or not society is taking the pandemic more seriously than last year. Today, there are still large groups of people running rampant without a mask in sight, treating life as if it has already returned to normal. On the other hand, there are still many out there who are devoted to keeping themselves and others safe, whether that be through double-masking, avoiding large crowds, or simply staying patient throughout this transitional period. Of course with vaccines becoming more accessible and reopening plans underway, many people are beginning to imagine an end to it all– but that end will never come if we suddenly stop our vigilance.

Although this pandemic is far from over, there is hope in our future. Throughout this lockdown, optimism has been hard to come by. But, it’s important to remember the sunnier side of life experienced during the first few blissful weeks of quarantine. Now that a year has gone by, we have emerged with a new understanding of the world: a greater appreciation for those around us and a resolve to never take life for granted. Maybe this time next year we’ll be back to a new kind of normal.

Staff Recommendations: Things You Should Eat

Have you ever had such an intense craving for something that you just have never been able to get your hands on? Or something that your parents would scold you for eating? Well here at Evolution, we believe that everything is edible, but some are only edible once. Please enjoy the lineup of our favorite forbidden snacks:

“Cattails (the corndog looking plants)” -Kaitlin Roth

“Those magnetic pebbles, they look really tasty” -Will Lynam

“Any cake decoration that actually isn't edible” -Mia Soumbasakis

“Melted wax” -Pierce Lewis

“Cassette film (forbidden fruit by the foot)” -Erick Ferrufino

“Gasoline. Or a Lava Lamp” -James Herde

“Rosin. like for string instruments and bows and stuff. Looks like hard candy. yummyyyy 😋” -Anica Sherry

“Insulation foam” -Kira Turk

“Steel wool. Or powerbait. For fish. The kind that comes in the dough form” -Cassandra Kesig

“Polly Pocket clothes” -Elena Levin and Summer Zamiska

“Jen” -Chloe, Jennifer Woo’s cat

Frog Cake

By: Lauren

Ingredients:

• 2 6-inch round cakes, leveled (boxed mixes are totally fine! Layer cake making is a very involved and exhausting process, if you’ve never done it before, the shortcut will definitely make it easier)

• 3 egg whites

• 125 g butter at room temperature (1.5 sticks)

• 180 g Sugar

• Pinch of kosher salt

• 1 tsp vanilla extract

• Food coloring

Instructions:

Make your cakes. I recommend making it 1-2 days in advance so that the flavors deepen and the flour hydrates nicely. If not, make sure to chill the cake completely, at least 3 hours, before frosting. 

Separate the egg yolks and whites while they are cold, and allow the egg whites to come to room temperature for at least 30 minutes. Make sure the bowl with the egg whites is heatproof, and cleaner than a Kidz Bop track. The tiniest drop of egg yolk or fat will be fatal to the whipping process, so I usually wipe the bowl down with a little white vinegar just to be sure. 

Add the sugar and salt to the bowl and give the ingredients a quick mix. Heat about 2 inches of water in a saucepan until simmering. Place the bowl over the saucepan, making sure that it isn’t touching the water. Using a handheld mixer or whisk, mix the meringue base until it is thin and frothy. Check for doneness by (CAREFULLY) dipping your finger in, and feeling to make sure that there are no sugar granules left. Remove from heat. 

Immediately after removing from the heat, whip the egg white mixture until it reaches stiff, glossy peaks. This takes about 10-15 minutes, so I’d recommend transferring your base to a stand mixer with the whisk attachment, if you have one. If not, get ready for an arm workout and a hand mixer that will want to go on strike. My personal favorite way to check for readiness is to hold the bowl upside-down over my head. If you emerge the battle unscathed, you may proceed.

Chop the butter into cubes and add them one at a time, on medium high speed, making sure that each cube is fully incorporated before the next addition. Then turn down the speed to medium, and fully beat in the vanilla.

Separate the frosting into bowls, and using toothpicks, add food coloring, and mixing to create pale shades of green, blue, red, and whatever other colors your heart desires. Transfer them into separate piping bags or freezer-sized ziplocks. Chill for about 20 minutes, so that your designs will have more structural integrity when you pipe them. 

Take one cake layer and place it on a cardboard cake round or large platter, anchoring it with a dollop of frosting. Pipe an even layer of blue frosting on top of it, starting in the middle and moving outwards in a concentric swirl. Place the second layer on top, and gently press down so that some of the frosting in the middle spills out the edges. Using a bench scraper, smooth the frosting on the sides of the cake, being careful not to scrape crumbs off. Pipe another swirl layer on the top of the cake, and then smooth it out with an offset spatula. Clean up the edges with the bench scraper, spatula, or a powerful combination of the two. 

Cut out 2 little squares of parchment paper. Using the green frosting, pipe a big dollop on each square to make the bodies of your frogs. Smooth the blobbies with the offset spatula. Pipe 2 little dollops on the top for the eyes. Put the froggie parchments into the fridge to solidify. In the meanwhile, pipe mushrooms, lilly pads, and other cute cottagecore decorations on your cake, leaving room for the froggy friends. 

Take the buttercream frog bodies off of their parchment thrones and place them on your cake. Pipe arms and legs for them, and add little white dots of frosting for their eyes. Dress them up however you see fit. Make sure you chill the cake for at least half an hour, just so your hard work doesn’t melt and fall. Enjoy with all your friends at a picnic, maybe even cut this cake with wine glasses, if you want that full experience.

Keeping The House Fresh As Spring, A House Guide

By: AJ

A thriving mint plant growing stronger from the spring rain and good soil; it’s very fragrant.

The spring season has just arrived and what better way to start the season than the annual house glow-up? Spring is a great chance to spruce up your house with a garden and cleaning job, but it’s hard to do without the proper guidance.
To begin, ambient noise can be a great help. It’s not a bad idea to play music, podcasts or an audiobook to get you going--this can even help during preparation.
Another start is inviting company to help you. A friend or close family member's can  save time and work, split the job, keep you from getting distracted and give you a treasured memory.

For daily cleaning, the first step would be making a spray bottle solution to use on stains in your kitchen and bathroom. The second would be to keep dryer sheets at the bottom of your trash can as they absorb leaks and bad smells. Lastly, using a squeegee on the shower walls will keep it from eroding.

The best way to begin preparing for a deep cleaning is to build a schedule and checklist. Organize the areas you plan to work on and estimate how much time you will need. If you don’t finish within the allotted time, you can always come back to it after a break. Try to cross out or your tasks as you finish cleaning the areas.
After preparations, your first step should be decluttering and purging. Take a disposable bag or box and fill it with items you haven’t used in the past year; this can be toys, clothing, kitchenware, food or books. When you declutter, try organizing closets and items, cleaning out junk drawers, sorting through piles and rearranging the fridge or pantry. 

The second part would be surface cleaning. When dusting, start at the top and go down. Once you dust off the taller parts of the house, all the dust will move to the floor and you can begin to dust the lower parts finishing off with the vacuum or mop.

Lastly would be the finishing touches. Wipe the counters with disinfecting wipes or a home solution, do a good bleaching on your sink and toilet—wipe down your windows. Don’t forget to clean your stove, and scrub your oven. 

Once you finish, you should treat yourself to keep a positive association with cleaning (and treat whoever helped you as well)!

As refreshing as a clean house is, sometimes getting down to the dirt can feel just as avant-garde. After all, April showers bring May flowers. But of course, you have to start with the proper preparations just as in cleaning. 

To begin, you are going to want planters, and soil made for planters. A light compost peat moss with organic nutrients blend is a great starting point. Don’t forget to fertilize your plants when the first leaves sprout. 

It’s recommended you plant apple, apricot, peach or plum and pick off the extra fruit as it comes in once it’s marble-sized; leave the healthiest ones and try to keep the fruits on separate stems.

Vegetables can be more difficult, and many use planting guides. They are easy to find and easy to follow, as well as very necessary--different regions have different weather. Remember to use mulch, it keeps plants moist and minimizes weeds!

Lastly, flowers need special care so prepare for dedication. Because the spring is still chilly, annual flowers can’t be bought, so you may like to plant a few. 

The Real History of the Philippine Revolution of 1896

By: Mia

To know your history will only be brought up once in a year long American history course is to be tense when the moment arrives. I was already dreading learning about US imperialism in the Philippines in APUSH, knowing it would be told purely from an American perspective, but I still wasn’t prepared to hear that Filipinos willingly “welcomed” US military intervention in their country to fight against Spanish colonization. I was at my desk, blood boiling, too enraged to do anything but sit still, thinking of the fight of tens of thousands of Filipinos that had been entirely invalidated in a sentence. I was then put in a breakout room where I was asked to discuss whether or not American political cartoons regarding imperial control of the Philippines were pro-imperialist or anti-imperialist. The idea was that the pro-imperialist cartoons were examples of the civilization mission and desire to grow American economy, while the anti-imperialist cartoons represented the desire to stick to “democratic” American ideals and allow Filipinos to self govern (which is hypocritical in itself given that the US was built upon the displacement and genocide of indigenous peoples.) 

Every single one of the 13 cartoons, which were presented to the class without any trigger warnings, depicted Filipinos as subhuman, dirty, and childlike, at the complete mercy to American officials and weapons. I was almost in tears, disgusted that students were expected to consider half of these cartoons in support of Filipino independence. The “anti-imperialist” rhetoric shown relied on the portrayal of Filipinos as entirely defenseless, people in need of American pardon and sympathy. In the subsequent lecture about the Philippine-American War (taught with the context that the pro-imperialist Americans had won the debate), we were taught that 1 million Filipinos died from disease, famine, and torture. Students were expected to feel sorry for them, mournful for a tragic event, all the while internalizing the narrative that had been sculpted previously—that these Filipinos had invited their own demise, and that at the very least, half of the American people wanted to spare them. We were not taught about the strength of the Filipino people or their tireless fight. 

Throughout almost 400 years of living under Spanish colonial rule, the Filipino people had multiple revolts.The initial few were led by ilustrados, or wealthy Filipinos who were often educated in Spain. Although they created a common national identity among Filipino people, they failed to unify the people, most of whom were poor farmers forced to work under the hacienda system, which privileged the ilustrados. During the Philippine Revolution of 1896, the Katipunan, an underground anti-colonial revolutionary organization with over 100,000 peasant members, took up arms against Spain under the leadership of Andres Bonifacio, a member of the working class. However, at the Tejeros Convention of 1897, Bonifacio was overtaken by ilustrados and the Katipunan broke into two factions—the Magidwag led by Bonifacio and the Magdalo lead by Emilio Aguinaldo, a college-educated politician who ended up betraying the revolution. By May of 1897, 2 months after the Tejeros Convention, Aguinaldo captured and executed Bonifacio to gain more power over the revolution, but the Magdiwang continued to fight. They continued to fight even after Aguinaldo called his troops off with the Biak-Na-Bato Agreement, an exchange in which the Spanish government paid Aguinaldo 400,000 pesos to surrender. Aguinaldo fled to Hong Kong shortly after to avoid conflict in the Philippines, where he made a second backdoor deal which betrayed the Filipino people, this time with the United States.  

However, Emilio Aguinaldo, a Katipunan general from the ilustrado class, betrayed the Filipino people, executed Bonifacio, and created an agreement with the US to bring their troops to the Philippines to help gain control of it under the facade of wanting to help liberate them. Despite this, it was the Filipino people themselves who successfully drove out the Spanish in April 1898.

The US wanted to gain control of the Philippines due to its central location for trade, its vast resources (which could be extracted through the existing including plantation systems created by the Spanish), cheap labor, and its ability as a foreign market to absorb surplus American goods. At the very end of the Philippine Revolution, the US staged the mock Battle of Manila, so-called because they made an agreement with Spain that the US would have a bloodless victory. Less than a year later, the US bought the Philippines from Spain for $20 million and then used their military to take control of the archipelago, with orders to kill everyone over the age of 10. 

To fully understand the history of the beginning of US imperialism in the Philippines, it is imperative to remember that this was indeed only the beginning. Today, the US still controls the Philippines through the presence of US military bases, American education, funding and training the Philippine armed forces to suppress activists (under the Terror Law, which ultimately allows police to kill anyone who challenges the Duterte regime), US-regulated economic policies, and control of the Philippines’ major industries. The Philippines is still subjugated to violent US rule today, and being taught that these people brought this upon themselves minimizes the issue.

International Vaccines

Kai Matias-Bell

It’s almost unbelievable how quickly mass vaccination has been realized for us: in the space of half a year, the idea of a shot available to almost all has gone from a potential future to being a click on a poorly-designed webform away. In fact, contrary to earlier estimates, the US is headed solidly into a vaccine surplus. But, as it’s seemingly so easy to forget, the US is not the world. And we wouldn’t be doing our job if we allowed you all to bask in the satisfaction of a smooth, well-heeled bureaucracy, and thus we must perform our journalistic duty and put into perspective just how miserable everything really is. 

Living as we do in a country flush with STEM majors, it’s easy to forget that the processes behind manufacturing COVID vaccines are closely guarded secrets. Copyright law dictates that the company who invents the cure has exclusive rights to it-rights which cannot be bypassed by anyone, regardless of circumstance. These aren’t empty words. In 2019, when Malaysian companies attempted to manufacture their own version of a Hepatitis C treatment rather than pay the exorbitant prices set by US manufactures, the country itself was quickly met with threats of economic sanctions. While a growing coalition of countries is calling for these laws to be temporarily waived, the idea has been repeatedly blocked by the US, EU, UK, Japan, and Australia, countries mostly home to the companies who produce the vaccines. Thus, despite calls for unilateral collaboration, the messaging remains clear: pay up or get your own.

But what about those countries who can do neither? The United Nation’s answer is COVAX, a program designed to ship these precious vaccines to eligible countries in need. Make no mistake, though: however ailing these countries may be, it’s no charity, and the UN charges a fee to any applicants. Venezuela, for example, paid a $64 million advance to benefit from the program.  Despite this, the general consensus is that COVAX remains woefully underfunded and underachieving. In fact, the targeted 20% of the population to be vaccinated in a COVAX country falls well below the levels predicted to be necessary for herd immunity. And with delays in the production stage of the program now reaching their third month, even that number remains out of reach. 

Of course, COVAX is not the only pathway for countries seeking vaccinations. Russia and China have independently shipped their vaccines- the Sputnik V and Sinovac respectively- to countries worldwide. Geopolitics has naturally reared its ugly head, and one need only flip on the news to find economists debating whether countries who distribute vaccines outside of UN channels are doing it out of charity or simply utilizing “vaccine diplomacy”, a largely meaningless term generally used to convey some malice. This has resulted in the West attempting to out-charity the East in bizarrely zealous acts of charitable grandstanding à la the cold war: in one case, the US and Japan donated several hundred million dollars worth of medical equipment to Southeast Asian countries in order to ‘combat’ the influence of free Chinese vaccines. Similarly, other countries like the Philippines are forced to walk a fine diplomatic line in order to benefit from both COVAX and the Chinese and Russian programs. 

Now, it isn’t all doom and gloom: for the most part, governments outside of the first world have been generous in their international medical efforts, and even one vaccine delivered through COVAX channels has the potential to save a life or three. But the plight of these countries well summarizes just what the global response to the pandemic has largely been: an opportunity for collaboration squandered in favor ensuring the existing power structures- and profit margins- remain intact, leaving those unwilling or unable to pick a side scrambling for what’s left.

The Futurist Fate of OCSA Sports

Cas Kesig

Whether we’re lauding or lamenting it, the lack of regard for sports at OCSA is a conspicuous one. The urban campus doesn’t lend itself to sports facilities, and even the relative success of our tennis team is often lost to the pages of State of the Art. A not altogether surprising solution to this athletic deficiency, though, has presented itself under the social limitations of quarantine: Esports. With no school dances or 10th street performances to which the Leadership class can direct its resources, Esports tournaments and Twitch streams have sprung up in their place as an unlikely venue for friendly competition and a sense of camaraderie. Minecraft Bed Wars has filled the vacancy of our trademark biannual dodgeball games. Undoubtedly, the advent of Esports at OCSA has seemed uncannily natural.

The breadth of the Esports scene is somewhat unexpected, and includes two camps: the Esports club and the Esports team. The former is a more grassroots approach to social gaming, spearheaded by Lauren Kim (VA ‘22) and Willie Yao (CAH ‘24), and the latter is a select group hosted by the Digital Media conservatory, from which OCSA’s unlikely partnership with gaming tech company HyperX is derived. Over the course of the year, the two have mostly merged into a single cohort. Visitors to the second-floor computer lab will be delighted (if not a little confused) by the speedy installation of rainbow-backlit mechanical keyboards and very angular mice.

Kim and Yao, co-presidents of the Esports club, suspect that social gaming will be an enduring trend, and possibly a permanent fixture of campus-wide activities even after in-person activities resume. “During the summer, because of the lack of social interaction, I found that gaming was a pretty easy way to find and meet new people. I wanted to bring that community to OCSA, so I started a club mostly focused on Minecraft,” said Kim. “It was pretty interesting that 7th, 8th, and 9th graders could come together to formulate a plan and compete.”

The humble beginnings of the Esports club were short-lived, though, after its merging with the Digital Media arm of the initiative, which was founded around the same time. Now, the equipment and practice space is communal, and participants are free to game in a competitive capacity or a leisurely one. The team is currently trying to become affiliated with the National America Scholastic Esports Federation to facilitate competition, and in the meantime “hosting club events and trying to keep everyone engaged,” Kim adds.

The recent prevalence of Esports not only alleviates physical isolation, but points out a glaring and increasingly passe element of traditional sports, being that they’re cut along gendered lines. Gaming, as one of few non-physical, non-academic, but still school-sanctioned activities, is one of the most accessible and enjoyable options for teambuilding and friendly rivalry that cunningly leverages the tech resources of learning institutions and provides students a relatively low-pressure forum to be great at something. “It’s one of the only sports that’s truly co-ed,” says Yao. “That in itself makes participation so much easier, and the range of people you can connect with so much more diverse.”

“It was the perfect opportunity to implement a club like this,” continues Kim. “There was a specific need for it at the time.” Indeed, OCSA’s swift absorption of Esports culture suggests an industrious plunge forward through a distanced crisis, void of Proms and heritage month celebrations and club rushes. The progressiveness required for such an adjustment is distinctly futuristic; it discards the sentimentality that no longer serves us, and instead seeks efficiency in maintaining relationships once characterized by passing in hallways and huddling around lunch tables. Yet, we can’t divorce the digital medium from its life source: the player, whose dedication to the game is still very much human.

Spring To-Do List

Ashley Nguyen, Mallory McKenna

1. Flower Fields

Now that Spring is here, flowers are in full bloom again! Visiting The Flower Fields located on the Carlsbad Ranch is the perfect Spring activity. Whether you’re visiting with friends or family, take beautiful pictures and enjoy the view that is only available in the Spring of every year. With different activities available such as mazes and blueberry picking, it is an exciting day-trip that is totally worth the drive. They are open from March 1st through Mother’s Day, so get your tickets now!

2. Beach Sunsets

The weather is starting to get warmer and the sky is getting clearer. This means it’s the ideal time to enjoy the outdoors and visit the beach! Go pick up your favorite gelato on the boardwalk or pack a small picnic while you watch the sunset on the sand. Enjoy the fresh air and the cool sea breeze while enjoying the beautiful California sunsets. 

3. Picnics

There’s no better time to have a picnic with your friends and all of your favorite foods enjoying the perfect spring weather than during spring break! Picnics create a great chance for you to lessen your screen time because you will have the opportunity to have fun conversations with your beloved friends. It may seem like a dull activity due to the fact that there isn’t much to do except for eat and discuss. However, once you embrace

4. Baking

Finding a delicious recipe to make with your friends and family is a fun way to work together on something. Food always tastes best when you can bond throughout the process and when you can feel like you’ve earned it because you made it yourself. So why not participate in this activity and bake a sweet treat for your loved ones? 

Senior Representatives 

Zola Franchi

It’s no secret that the graduating class of 2021 feels rather neglected this year. Jokes of their missed opportunities plague the internet and spark debates with last year’s graduates, raising the question of what defines the senior experience? According to high school films and many misguided celebrities who sent in videos of “encouragement” last spring, senior year is prom and graduation. This year’s senior representatives feel differently.

Dana Worrell (IA ‘21) and Melanie Kallah (IA ‘21) began their campaign in late August as a way to demonstrate school spirit, but it wasn’t until they passed the second round of voting that they realized they had a chance of winning. Their campaign promised virtual game nights, yoga classes, and pen pal programs, but Worrell admits that in retrospect they had overestimated senior engagement. “It’s really difficult -especially during college applications- to get anyone, but specifically seniors, motivated to commit to anything… something only exacerbated by the pandemic,”

This, however, did not deter the representatives from attempting to continue their plans. “We wanted to foster a community of pride, not necessarily OCSA pride, but senior pride,” says Worrell. According to the representatives, this is what the senior class feels they’ve lost. Despite voicing this opinion, some of their proposals, such as more virtual game nights and COVID-safe class outings, were vetoed by the leadership class and school administration.. Kallah, while scribbling her to-do list on the outside of her hand, states, “It’s frustrating because it seems like we’re not doing anything or keeping our promises.” 

With the return to campus, the representatives mentioned that they were pleased with their current communication with the leadership class. The comments made by parents and students have “increased support, at least for the moment,” says Worrell. Together they have been able to do the senior handprint and collaborate on future projects. They revealed the return of beloved senior traditions such as decorating the tower with the schools students have gotten into and college chalk day when students decorate tenth street with their future plans. New events are also planned: a drive-through concert in collaboration with the Popular music conservatory and an Instagram account updating students on the peer's plans. 

“We’ve kinda missed the window to just enjoy being seniors, it’s hitting all of us that this is all over in a couple of months,” mentions Worrell at the end of the meeting. Their events reflect this sentiment as they focus more on the transition to college and the next steps of their peers. “Nothing we do is going to replace the memories we could’ve made, but we just have to adapt, '' says Kallah as she runs to a school council meeting. Both seniors mentioned that they are still able to pitch proposals and would love more engagement, so if a senior has an idea they can email either one or DM them on their shared Instagram account. Who knows, maybe your idea will transform from a notated scribble on Kallah’s hand to an event for you and your peers to come together again. 

OCSA Returns to Campus

Jennifer Woo, Kai Mattias-Bell, Max Mikkelsen, Zola Franchi, Mallory McKenna 

After months of waiting and one failed attempt to return in the fall semester, OCSA’s hybrid learning academy returned back to school on March 22, 2021, a little over 1 year after school closed last year. Here at Evolution, we wanted to share some photos and memories from students who decided to return to campus.

One of the most obvious observations is that there aren’t as many people in class. Class sizes range all the way from 3 to 15 students with desks spaced apart and plexiglass barriers between students and in front of teachers. 

The thing that feels the most different, according to Kaylee Whisner (PD '21), is "not being able to eat in class," and that "no one really talks anymore in class." Masks must be worn at all times except when eating at lunch, and students must stay distanced at all times.

Jennifer Woo (IA ‘21) noticed that “With less people on campus… and everyone going straight to class instead of socializing, school feels way more class-oriented than before.” Although there is music on 10th street, the large crowds of dancing students are missing. Hybrid students in distance learning classes log into zoom in the computer lab, replacing in person chatter with sterilized silence. 

Block seven is another experience the OCSA community lost with the transition to distance learning and has continued with hybrid classes. “I really miss having block seven on campus. I feel like Block seven was a big social time to meet up with friends and interact with people you don't usually talk to,” Woo adds.

Despite all these changes, the campus still seems familiar to returning students. "I was surprised that it honestly doesn't feel that different." says Whisner. "I'm happy that it kind of just feels like normal again, except that we all wear masks," Samantha Walker (MT '21) says. 

Many students expected a vast change with the transition, but there seemed to be a bittersweet sense of familiarity among the students. “Despite feeling as if my IQ was decreasing quickly over the pandemic I still managed to remember how to navigate OCSA's campus, socialize with my friends, and the route to school,” says Zola Franchi (IA ‘21). “After a year of life-changing things I'm glad that I'm back to half-heartedly chuckling at a teacher's dad jokes, listening to music on the tenth street, and even walking up to the seventh floor; even if it's just for two days a week.”

The History of Organized Crime in OCSA

Erick Ferrufino

Before our once glorious campus was swept away by the plague, there was, what many considered, a renaissance in organized criminal activity on campus. Students from every conservatory, grade, and even teachers would engage in this one big conspiracy. But how did our top tier art students fall to a life of crime? And how did this criminal empire fall? Well our story begins with one person. Arden Davis. Arden was the biggest con man on campus. Straight A’s, Dean’s List student, they were a natural born genius, and used that to help the other students. Back in 2019, he’d pass along classwork, send homework, even buy test answers off of teachers to give out. Anything to help out the student populus.

After about a couple months of this, Arden created a tutoring club with one of their crooked teachers, which they would run this scheme out of. They called the club “Devil’s Tutoring” and would have meetings every monday. There, they’d share every possible answer and made sure no student was falling behind. They taught better than most teachers, for crying out loud! And people respected them for it. When Arden entered a room they got everyone’s attention. It made them prideful.

With time, the empire only grew. They enlisted some people they knew they could trust and had them run parallel clubs to them, teaching different subjects. Arden’s business essentially ran over five clubs, teaching any subject you could think of. But it wasn’t enough for them. Arden had the power, but nothing to show for it. That’s when they stopped working for free. Admission to a single club meeting became $10 and with five clubs meetings a week, that money added up. For a while, Arden Davis was on top of the world— until the infighting began.

Devil’s Tutoring ran with ten people on payroll and a weekly profit division from all club meetings. Kingpin Arden took 30%, leaving the other nine people with just under 8%. This made the rest of their employees envious, believing they deserved equal compensation, while Arden believed they deserved 30% for building this empire. According to a former club member that was, “A lot of arguing going on each club meeting. It got to the point where I was paying $10 to watch Arden and their staff yell at each other and throw things.” Tensions only rose when staffers began to leave the operation. By the next semester, the seven clubs shrunk down to two with attendance being at an all time low. Arden didn’t take this lightly. One former club runner said Arden was “pissed their people had betrayed them. They weren’t making money, they lost most of their clubs, and they feared colleges would look poorly on that history. That’s when they had one last plan to get revenge.”

The plan our anonymous source referred to was related to a campus vandalism case committed back in February 2020 that resulted in the suspension of over 5 students and the expulsion of Arden Davis themself. While the specifics of Arden’s ‘excursion’ changes from source to source, the only certainty was that the resulting damage was a shattered bathroom mirror, several ripped bathroom stall doors, and the phrase, “Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!” spray painted in the clubs’ main classrooms. Arden along with five other students were found fighting in the annex bathroom and quickly separated. Arden stated they jumped him while the other five claimed he attacked them. Nonetheless, all clubs related to the six were banned from campus. 

The weeks that followed Devil’s Tutoring’s fall were silent. In the end, Arden Davis’s money all went into paying damages to the school, leaving them without a dollar to this chapter of their life. All they had was a tarnished permanent record and six months of community service. OCSA closed for COVID lockdown soon after, and there hasn’t been any reported crime since. However with the reopening occurring less than a month ago, it’s only a matter of time before these criminal glory days return once more.

The Allure of the Matthew Morrison Hate Club

Max Mikkelsen

Matthew Morrison (MT ‘97) is a name almost every OCSA student knows. Most notably the actor who played Mr. Schuester on the hit show Glee, Morrison has won multiple awards, starred in several TV shows and movies, produced three studio albums, and been featured multiple times on Broadway.

He is arguably OCSA’s most beloved and famous alumni, and as such, he has performed at school fundraisers, met with students, and has supported our school in many different ways. However, The OCSA Foundations Love for Morrison is not shared by everyone, especially on social media apps such as TikTok and Twitter. But where did this hate come from, and how has it become so widespread and prominent?

“It’s been a tumultuous 2020 for everyone in America. From the coronavirus pandemic to widespread protests and riots, the American people were tired. The holiday season is upcoming, and what better way to celebrate Christmas and provide some needed entertainment and happiness than a live adaptation of the Grinch musical, featuring Matthew Morrison as the Grinch?” thought NBC executives. But the internet was not as pleased as the suits thought they would be.

“Who the **** do I sue? Who do I sue to stop this from ******* happening?” Exclaimed one TikTok user Nicole Ciraviolo, amassing over 200,000 likes on her video. Within days, #matthewmorrison was trending, amassing thousands of videos of people making fun of Morrison and highlighting what they believed were his most embarrassing career highlights. From putting the song Soulja Boy on top of a video of Morrison dancing to fan edits of pictures some users found funny.

The lore started off with a trigger warning, typically used to warn viewers that sensitive content is going to be addressed or shown, but in this case, the trigger warning was used satirically to prepare users for the incoming video of Matthew Morrison. Videos of Morrison would be flooded with comments such as “TW: MATTHEW MORRISON” and “this should be a hate crime.”

Matthew Morrison hate accounts popped up, most notably @matthewmorrisonhatecult, which has amassed over 12 thousand loyal anti-Matthew Morrison advocates. Being referred to by his moniker, Matty Fresh, she has posted fan videos, interview moments, and clips from Glee. Her videos in total have earned over 900 thousand likes, peaking in popularity in late December and early January. Nonetheless, the owner of the account insists that it is satire, commenting “He's literally the sweetest dude ever leave him alone.”

The account's evolution has been fluid, originally starting as a way of making fun of Morrison. Over the last few months, though, the account has transformed into an endearing defense of Matthew Morrison, posting videos of him with his son with the caption “HE LOOKS SO HOT IN THIS GOODBYE.”

However, not everyone understands the hate towards The famous Glee Star. As @ClassicCandace_ once tweeted out, “I do not understand the Matthew Morrison hate … I must be missing something.” Another user @aceannies stated “I keep forgetting Matthew Morrison hate isn’t a universal thing” after an awkward experience with their dad regarding Morrison’s grinch musical.

The most important thing to remember, though, is that no matter what, you can never avoid the righteous grasp of Matthew Morrison. Twitter user @lilyemiller tweeted about her experience being on hold with Disney World sharing, “I just wanna know why they’re making me listen to Matthew Morrison sing ‘You’ve Got A Friend In Me.’”

And as OCSA students, we will always have Matthew within us. Whether it be seeing him walking around campus with Dr. Opacic, performing at an OCSA fundraiser, or taking over the OCSA Instagram account - Matthew Morrison, Matty Fresh, Mr. Shue, or whatever you want to call him, will stay in our hearts forever. You can never escape.

Wanda’s Vision of Womanhood

Mehra Marzbani

Over the large span of the Marvel Cinematic Universe, the franchise has shone the spotlight on the fight-ready, male heroes, with the females behind the curtains. Take Tony Stark (better known as Iron Man) and his fellow Avenger wife, Virginia “Pepper” Potts. As explicitly stated by Marvel, Pepper “handles the day-to-day business of running Stark Industries while Tony is distracted socializing or pursuing other endeavors.” In other words, she spends the majority of her screen time taking on domestic duties as a wife and mother, calmly abiding to her husband’s wishes. But where is the powerful woman hero, the messy, flawed woman hero, the independent woman hero who is not afraid to tamper with gender norms? Look no further--that woman is Wanda Maximoff (Elizabeth Olsen), the star of the hit television sitcom WandaVision. Cue the Brady Bunch theme song.

WandaVision takes place after the events of Avengers: Endgame, in which Wanda’s fellow Avenger husband Vision (Paul Bettany) died twice. Yes, twice. In WandaVision, however, Vision appears to be very much alive. Together, he, Wanda, and later their twin sons happily live in a town called Westview, New Jersey. Wanda eventually realizes that she subconsciously used her powers to create a fantasy where Vision can exist as a response to her grieving process. In fact, her magic is so powerful that a witch tries to steal it, the military views her as a threat, and she traps the real residents of Westview inside her illusion. So, Wanda must choose between a blissful suburban life as a wife and mother, or doing her job as a hero and freeing Westview’s residents. At the end, it is her choice, not one made for her by a man.

WandaVision has shown viewers that not all female heroes are the classic male sidekick, the “damsel in distress”; Wanda is the perfect example of this. In fact, head writer and creator Jan Schaeffer saw WandaVision as the perfect opportunity to explore all the different sides of Wanda beyond what was originally depicted in the comics. 

“There are a lot of really terrific comics and stories about Wanda, but I do think she is often used as a tool,” said Schaeffer. “She has to embrace her own grief and suffering and see it for what it is, that it’s not all sorrow, that inside of grief is also a celebration of the thing that is now gone.”

Despite her feminine yearning to have a life with a family and the man she loves, Wanda is not penalized for her dreams or deemed weak. After all, Wanda must come to terms with her emotional trauma and deal with the alienation and sorrow of losing a loved one all by herself. Her very emotions of love, grief, and her maternal instinct make her even more strong and powerful than her male counterparts. Speaking of the show’s male characters, the majority of the men exist on the sidelines; Vision himself is defined by his relationship with Wanda. Instead, the opportunity is given for other female co-stars to take center stage. Intelligence agent Monica Rambeau (Teyonah Parris), quirky scientist Darcy Lewis (Kat Dennings), and nosy witch neighbor Agatha Hawkniss (Catherine Hahn) all attempt to get Wanda to confront her pain, showcasing the power of women in the series. 

The Marvel Cinematic Universe has opened up the doors to having females drive the narrative. WandaVison has proved that female heroes really do deliver a strong punch. Even F.B.I. agent Jimmy Woo (Randall Park)in Episode 5 admits it: Wanda “could’ve taken out Thanos on her own if he hadn’t initiated a blitz. Nobody else came close.” I’d say that any female hero, given the chance to shine, could have come close.

Journaling: A Habit Needed Now More Than Ever

Isabel Hahn

There is no denying that this past year of the pandemic has gone by unexpectedly fast. So fast, in fact, that looking back on the lockdown may feel like trying to sort through a messy pile of Zoom meetings, masks and miscellaneous internet trends. It can be overwhelming to remember and reflect on your daily activities during a time where days seem to blend together, but not impossible. Keeping a personal journal is a simple, accessible and creative method of overcoming this struggle. Here are some reasons making journaling a habit can change your outlook on pandemic life for the better.  

    Journaling allows you to unwind. 

With so many responsibilities piling on at once, it can be easy to be stuck in a constant state of stress. Even taking just five to ten minutes out of each night to journal can be an effective way to clear your mind. Turn on some relaxing music, change into comfortable clothes and let your ideas flow freely. Your journal is a safe space meant for nobody but yourself. Letting yourself wholeheartedly focus on such an activity helps you shift your attention away from unnecessary worries.

    Journaling can help inspire creative ideas and projects. 

It is difficult to find inspiration out in the real world when you are spending most of your time with yourself. Recording all your musings in your journal is a great way to make an archive of ideas for creative inspiration. Writing down a strange dream from the night before can spark an idea for a short story. A small doodle on a journal page can turn into a painting. Journaling is a simple start to the creative process, and an opportunity for stray thoughts to become something much greater.

    Journaling lets you process your thoughts and plan future goals. 

Feeling overwhelmed has a lot to do with not having enough time to reflect on troubling emotions or daily stressors. Journaling prevents these thoughts from piling up and helps you digest the highlights and low points of each day. You begin to ask yourself questions such as: What did I do well today? What can I do to make tomorrow better? Not only are you able to process the day’s events, but you can also begin setting attainable goals for the future. 

    Journaling reminds you of how far you have come. 

The pressure to “glow up” over quarantine makes it easy to scrutinize yourself and feel like you have not accomplished anything worthwhile in months. Journaling can effectively counter this false notion. Even reading an entry made just a few weeks ago can remind you of some way that you have changed, whether it was finally completing a difficult project, or getting a haircut. On days that you feel stuck or lost, your journal will remind you that you have been making steady progress, and that you will continue to do so. 

At first, recording trivial things each day may seem pointless. However, after a while, journaling can make you realize that all of these tiny experiences are like puzzle pieces, each with their own unique shades and patterns. While it is true that journaling will not make time go by any slower, it will make the passing time feel much more fulfilling, even if you are not spending it doing anything extraordinary. Your journal entries will show you that, though it may feel the world is moving faster than you can think, you are still growing everyday, fitting another piece into your life’s puzzle one by one. 

Child Stardom: Jennette McCurdy 

Summer Zamiska

In late 2020, it was announced that the popular children’s sitcom “iCarly” was to hit the air again! This television series, enjoyed by thousands of children across the world, aired from 2007-2012. The reboot will feature Miranda Cosgrove, Nathan Kress, and Jerry Trainor, rekindling their past roles as Carly, Freddie, and Spencer. The reboot will also feature two new characters, Harper (Carly's new roommate, played by Laci Mosley) and Millicent (Freddie's step-daughter, played by Jaidyn Triplett). However, fans were disappointed to hear that Jennette McCurdy, the actress who played Sam Puckett, would not be included in the reboot. As fans wondered why McCurdy would not be returning, rumors circulated that she had received an offer from Nickelodeon, but had no desire to return because of her past as a child actor. 

McCurdy has been fairly outspoken about mental health on her social media platforms, and TikTok in particular. She pokes fun at her trauma, creating jokes such as her November 2020 TikTok to which she lip syncs “I guess we’ll never know” from a Kanye West speech and dances to the caption “wondering what it would have been like to have had a healthy, non-traumatic childhood”. She also touches on topics of social anxiety, her mother’s passing, family trauma, and her eating disorder recovery in many of her TikToks. However, McCurdy mostly utilizes her podcast as a way of talking about these struggles, spreading awareness to her audience.

In early 2020, McCurdy was featured on an episode of podcast “The Minimalists”, talking about the mental struggles that child stars face on a day to day basis. “People are more interested in seeing a former child star fail.” McCurdy starts. “I wish society didn’t do that to people.” Being a former child star herself, McCurdy has firsthand experience about what it is like to deal with mental health struggles while being forced into the limelight. At a young age, McCurdy became widely popular among thousands of children. It was not uncommon for 15 year old Jennette to be chased down by paparazzi or constantly stopped in the street for a photo. She explains to the interviewers, “I felt incredibly anxious. From about age 14 to age 22, I couldn’t leave the house without crowds of paparazzi or hoards of people anywhere I went.” 

McCurdy explains that she believes children do not have the mental capability to handle fame and “should not be allowed to be famous,” based on her experiences living through adolescent stardom. “For actors, there’s a bit of an identity crisis. You’re famous for something that… isn’t you,” McCurdy explains. “Who am I underneath that? Would I be famous if it were just me?” The questions McCurdy brings up to the table she explains made her rethink not only her career, but her mental health and daily lifestyle. She developed an eating disorder at the young age of only 11.

McCurdy was “introduced”, as she says, to anorexia by her mother, who had also been previously diagnosed with anorexia. Her mother believed it would help her daughter play younger roles in TV and film. It was incredibly effective, McCurdy explained, saying it helped her land many roles in her early film career. Under-eating was normalized from her mother, seeing as she would only eat a couple of steamed vegetables for dinner and would constantly go hungry. At 21, she was diagnosed with bulimia, which she believed manifested from her early anorexia. “Hollywood likes to body monitor everyone—if you’re at a party and you pick up an hors d'oeuvre, you’ll get the side eye from everyone in the room. It’s just a part of the business.”
Today, McCurdy uses her platform to continue spreading awareness about the struggles of mental health and the dangers of becoming a child actor on her podcast “Empty Inside”. 

Senioritis: What am I growing towards?

James Herde

As we get closer to graduation, I’ve found myself comparing how I am now to how I was when I was a freshman. I’ve had about a million haircuts and hyper-fixations since then, it’s fair to say I’ve changed a lot. This newest burst of quarantine-introspection is brought on mostly by the nostalgia in the air right now. Some seniors are watching “High School Musical 3” on repeat, others are learning old recipes. I’m looking at every tall-climbable-tree with seething envy for what once was. I’ve always related my happiest childhood memories to exploring, even if it was just my concrete side yard or the Irvine Spectrum. I loved exploring places, foods, & feelings. I just wanted to interact with other people and the world around me. This means my nostalgia is very sensory-based. There’s nothing like scribbling crayons on the wrong type of paper. The smell fills my lungs and my six-year-old hands come out. 

This has led me to be very interested in raw art and outsider art. OCSA students can agree, the culture of art here is formal, professional, and prepares us for industry standards in our respective art fields. But, about halfway through my career here I started wanting to distance myself from that by making art without purpose. I didn’t know what I wanted to do with art, I still don’t. I felt like I wasn’t good enough to enter the industry. And I knew if I wanted to try anyway, that would have to be my goal. I couldn’t just half-heartedly try to get a job in one of the most competitive industries in the world. I didn’t even know if I really wanted to enter the industry. I knew entertainment art was one of my many passions. But I didn’t know if that was the environment I wanted to spend my life in. 

I’ve always been attracted to human things. That’s why I love art. That’s why I’m having trouble finding what I’m really interested in doing as a career. Trying to ascertain “is this industry ‘human-enough’ for me to bend over backward for it?” I no longer feel like I’m not good enough to succeed. My art has improved, my job skills have improved, my confidence and productivity have improved. All around, my quarantine-character arc has been nothing short of positive. I have the skills to go down the path to that cutthroat industry. The reason this is so difficult is that I still don’t want to. 

The trouble is, I don’t really want to enter any industry. I don’t have a dream job because I don’t dream about having a job. I just want to keep exploring my places, foods, and feelings. I just want to keep learning and interacting with other people. I don’t want to tie myself down to one location, one industry, one life. I know this specific feeling of anxiety really isn’t that unique. Everyone wishes they could be Peter Pan and stay a kid forever. Everyone wishes they could travel and have fun instead of working a 9-5. Everyone wants freedom. 

My first instinct was to change my name and disguise myself as an Italian poet before becoming a jewel thief, but I hate Italy, poetry, and jewels so that won’t work. So on top of making & looking at raw art, I’ve been researching the many ways I could run off and abandon my life. I looked into communes, internships that involve travel, Earthships, buslife, and heck, even running off and joining the circus. They all sound interesting, but I really just want to be a secluded hermit. 

I think maybe my questioning of whether I’ve changed stems more from me wishing things hadn’t, not true introspection. With the way the world stands I am fearful for the future, as I’m sure you are too. I’ve always been the type of person who believed that if you put your mind to it, you can accomplish your goals. But now, I don’t know what my goals should be. Part of me wonders if I should even have goals. Part of me just wants to go be feral in the woods. God, I hate capitalism. It's tricky because in the past when I’ve felt this way it was due to a lack of confidence and truly, my ability. And I knew that’s why I felt nervous and inadequate for the future I was heading into. Now I am good enough. I can succeed and I do succeed at things I want to. I am a tall climbable tree. But I just want to be a tree. I don’t want to make myself a goal. I just want to drift in the wind, breathe with the earth, hear and feel the world around me. I don’t need to be a success story that I tirelessly climb towards for the next 50 years. My roots are my legacy, not the acquisition of my tallest branch. I could be a tall climbable tree. But in the end, I’m still just a tree. 

May Horoscopes

Anica Sherry and Cas Kesig

Aries

• Aries, now is the time to let fate run its course. Whatever unresolved issues you’ve been grappling with will come to a natural resolution this month, and all you’ll have to do is relinquish control–though it may not come easily to you. Though Mars may throw a wrench into your romantic endeavors through the 20th, it should be smooth sailing from then on.

Taurus

• You’ve hit the cosmic lottery, Taurus. Come May, you’ll find yourself enjoying the fruits of your labor and on the path to even greater rewards. Social pursuits will come naturally to you, as Mars will lend itself to healthy communication across the board. Enjoy this period of prosperity while it lasts!

Gemini

• Your year has been off to a rough start, Gemini. Faced with so many possibilities, you may feel as though you’ve backed yourself into a corner. Remember that sometimes, your first thought is your best thought. You’ll gain some clarity toward the end of the month, but in the meantime, be sure to give yourself some credit for all that overthinking.

Cancer

• You’re facing a choice this month, Cancer, so be sure not to overlook your support systems when making decisions and executing projects. Jupiter will facilitate your steady progress toward a number of goals, and Mars will give you the drive necessary to sustain them. Don’t be afraid to aggressively self-improve!

Leo

• Now is the time to be deliberate in your actions, Leo. If you’re facing a big decision or a major transition period, take the first half of the month to review and re-review your options–avoid being too divisive. Jupiter and Saturn may send some unexpected developments your way, so stay on guard and draw on your inner pragmatist!

Virgo

• Fake it ‘til you make it, Virgo. This month, you may feel some social and professional pressure to put on a show; although it may tire you out, you’ll be able to refine your workplace relationships and set yourself up for success in the future. Venus and Mars will work in tandem to grease the wheels on your love life, so now’s your chance to make a move, or just show your partner some appreciation.

Libra

• This month you might feel like you’re bouncing off the walls, with Mars giving you a tremendous supply of energy. Try to channel it into something artistic and be conscious of risky opportunities. Mars and Venus will work together to bring you love and affection, but make sure to get your head out of the clouds after the first week of May. Prioritize your academic and career responsibilities or you may come across some trouble. 

Sagittarius

• For the most part, this month will be filled with positive developments. However, be careful about how you communicate with peers and family. It might be easy to get in silly arguments, so be mindful of what you say and how you respond to comments. A Cancer or Capricorn might make an appearance this month, which may seem like some sort of conflict at first, but be patient and you will find that they’ll have a tremendous impact on you. 

Scorpio

• Family life will be prosperous this month, full of warm interactions and respect. In this atmosphere, it will be easy to focus on your career and finances. Although there won’t be a trace of tension in your work environment either, make sure to keep an eye on your income and funds. Especially for those who rely on their art for income, make sure to stay driven. After all, your art should be your passion. 

Capricorn

• Allow yourself to come out of your shell this month. Mars, planet of passion and aggression, might encourage you to step out on a limb and become involved with something romantic. Pay special attention to friends and family, particularly older family members, because tensions in your home environment will be high. You don’t necessarily have to be the peacemaker in your family this month, but…just remember to take care of yourself.  

Aquarius

• Mercury, the planet of communication, will be on your side this month. You’ll be able to resolve most problems with a simple conversation, so keep this energy with you while interacting with family and coworkers. You may find that money will be tight lately, but there will be less financial complications compared to previous months, and a new sense of consistency. 

Pisces

• After a particularly rough first few months of this year it’s time to love yourself, Pisces. For the first half of May, keep an eye out for love being sent your way and allow yourself to take it all in. During the second half of this month, focus on family. As expected in most families, there will be the usual, insignificant complications, but mostly high-spirited interactions and stable finances. Be transparent in all relationships this month.