HOW TO LOSE AN OCSA GUY IN 10 DAYS

Tabitha Finamore & Sammi Thomas

Art by Lacole Yang

Any one of these unforgivable crimes could terminate your relationship with your OCSA boyfriend. Use more than one and you’ll be blacklisted from dating an OCSA boy ever again. Use with caution! TW: Not intended to be read by OCSA boys with fragile egos.

  1. It’s raining and you don’t accept his OCSA letterman jacket.

  2. You don’t “yes and” his promposal.

  3. You tell him “good luck” instead of “break a leg” before opening night.

  4. You won't let him borrow your blush for his stage makeup.

  5. You have to stage kiss someone else.

  6. You won't let him put his tap shoes in your locker.

  7. He claps you in during a scene and you out-improv him.

  8. You say “zip” instead of “zop”.

  9. You don’t comment on his new headshots on Instagram.

  10. You forget his orange slices before the dodgeball tournament.

  11. You’re wearing a band tee and can't name five songs. 

  12. You don’t vote him for “best playlist” for senior superlatives.

  13. You don’t know about the Santa Ana punk scene.

  14. You haven’t seen “Pulp Fiction.”

  15. Your favorite movie isn’t a black and white 6-hour silent film produced by A24.

  16. You don’t look into his eyes while doing the thriller dance on Halloween.

  17. You don’t want to do an American Psycho couples costume with him on Halloween.

  18. You won't take his AP Research survey.

  19. You mistake his vintage, thrifted sweater for Urban Outfitters.

  20. You don’t pull up to Fishing Club.

  21. You don’t notice his new ear piercing.

  22. You didn’t know he’s a feminist.

  23. You liked the OCSA straight boys article.