Keeping up with The Chalamet 

Sophia Kang

“Quiet up and listen down.” Timothee Chalamet has never been more entertaining in his entire life than he is now.

If you’ve been keeping up with the Frenchman like I have, you know he’s been on what can only described as a fever dream-esque rampage. Chalamet is set to star in the prequel of “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory” as the eccentric Willy Wonka in the film “Wonka” later this year. If you haven’t seen the trailer yet, I implore you to check it out. There are truly no words to describe it. Except maybe “insane.” 

Unlike his dramatic roles (“Little Women,” “Call Me By Your Name,” “Dune,” etc.) or comedic characters (“Lady Bird,” “Don’t Look Up”), he’s taken a new approach to the iconic Roald Dahl character. It seems that for the role of Wonka, he’s decided to spare no expense for acting at all! His line delivery is so monotone that I couldn’t tell if I had fallen asleep and was dreaming or if I was still watching the trailer. 

Now, I don’t mean to criticize him. He’s one of my favorite actors (except for that one time his butt was out in that hot tub). His portrayal of Laurie from “Little Women” was phenomenal, and “Bones and All” made my skin crawl in the best way. But, an Oscar-nominated actor and the world’s self-proclaimed boyfriend is bound to face some criticism, and I can’t help if he’s always on my radar. 

Chalamet’s acting choices aren’t the only interesting choices he’s made as of late. If you rot in bed while scrolling on Twitter– pardon my French, X–and Tiktok like I do, you probably know about Jenner-Chalamet Gate. If not, here’s the big news: Timothee Chalamet and Kylie Jenner are dating. Seriously. 

A popular question arose after the news of this controversial pairing: What could the heartthrob skinny legend and iconic BBL businesswoman possibly talk about? Well, in my opinion, we’re giving Chalamet too much credit. This is the same man who made a music video about statistics, laughs like he’s being held at gunpoint, and has looked 15 his entire life. Sure, his previous roles may present him as a deeply intellectual individual, but deep down, “Lil Timmy T” (his words, not mine) is not too different from the rest of us, including the Kardashian-Jenners. 

I sincerely hope a shotgun 72-day wedding in Italy and an immediate divorce are in the cards for these two lovebirds. Kylothée lives on.