Table of Contents

COVID, College, and the Class of 2021

Lauren Le - Staff Writer

The Class of 2021 is lucky. They still have a chance of experiencing (at least partially) the all-American senior experience, given that everyone does their part to slow the spread. But beyond just being able to maybe have a grad night, they are also the first graduating class with the pleasure of being holistically reviewed. For real, this time. 

Any high school student is no stranger to the crippling pressure put on getting a good standardized test score in order to get into a good college. But amid the endless COVID changes, everything students have prepared for, especially members of the class of 2021, has been turned on its head. Suddenly, many schools, including the UC system, have announced their decision to make test score submissions optional, in “hope there will be less worry for our future students.” (John A. Perez, Chair of the UC Regents Board). Despite the intentions of these measures, what does it mean for students’ progress and plans in the future? 

Many academic institutions have made it clear that the choice not to submit scores will not negatively impact an applicant’s appeal, as it allows for more emphasis to be placed on extracurriculars, school involvement, and essays. Although seemingly ideal for the newest wave of overwhelmed applicants, this decision in conjunction with all the other cancellations and changes is proving to be more stressful than helpful. Counselors, parents and teachers constantly remind students that the summer before senior year is the most important of their life. It is the prime time to work, attend summer programs, and get that last bit of community service in before submitting their resumes to colleges. Except for when all of these things are impossible due to a pandemic that doesn’t seem to be improving . 

This year’s junior class is no stranger to cancellations of events and opportunities that would have been potentially helpful to supplement applications that are beginning to place more weight on extracurriculars than ever. Catalina Marin (IA ‘20), was selected as this year’s OCSA representative for the Girl’s State Program in Sacramento, which will now be held virtually. “Although I'll still get to say that I was selected on my applications, it’s not the same,” Marin explains. “Beyond college apps, it would have been great to learn more about the government and decide if that’s something I really do want to pursue. It would have been so cool to be able to learn more about it at Girls State, and this would have helped me with my college apps because I’d have a better idea of what I actually want in and from my college experience.” 

Other, more local opportunities are now being cancelled, much to the dismay of every junior scrambling to achieve their last hurrah before compiling their lives into their applications. Mia Kaplan (MT ‘21) was planning on directing a show, which has been a lifelong goal. “I was also planning on getting some more volunteer work. I do feel slightly at a disadvantage because I can’t go into my counselor’s office to ask questions or work on my material with conservatory teachers,” Kaplan says. Riley Summers (ACT ‘21) was planning on taking a theater intensive at DePaul, which is most likely going to be cancelled, as well. 

Strangely enough, many members of the class of 2021 are still planning on taking standardized tests, if they end up being administered. “I think it’s just a supplement at this point,” Summers explains. Kaplan also agrees, saying, “now it can only help me. If my score is in a high enough range that I feel good about presenting it, I will. But now I don’t feel this huge pressure to do as exceptional of a job on the test.”  However, Marin, who has already taken the SAT, has a different dilemma. “I know that most people are likely still going to submit their scores so I don’t want to be at a disadvantage by not submitting mine. I don’t want to not submit a score because I feel like that looks even worse.” 

Despite the imminent age of holistic review, the act of embracing the new and clearing out the old is proving a bit more complicated than at first glance. As the class of 2021 explores this uncharted territory, it’s hard to predict whether these new policies are actually going to incite a noticeable change, since students have only prepared for what they’ve seen in past trends, and it’s difficult to change gears this late in the game. But it seems that, like with pretty much everything these days, we’ll just have to wait and see.

https://www.universityofcalifornia.edu/press-room/uc-eases-admissions-requirements-help-students-families-wake-covid-19

What In The World?: Coronavirus Part 3

Jennifer Woo - Staff Writer

Note: The following reflects the policies and economic climate as of April 22, 2020

Small Business Panic

Some businesses will never return once the lockdown policies are lifted. Your favorite Mom & Pop cafes, hair salons, theatre companies, and so much more are being devastated by the economic implications of the coronavirus. When we go back to ‘business as usual’, business will not be usual. The pandemic will continue to haunt us through empty storefronts, blank theater marquees, and “For Sale” signs. 

Which is why it is more important than ever to support local small businesses. 

Many businesses and restaurants are offering home delivery or pick up services for customers (Pop’s Cafe is still open for takeout!). These services are integral to keeping small businesses alive, as they are currently their only source of income.

Congress is also stepping up to support small businesses. One element of the Coronavirus Aid, Relief, and Economic Security (CARES) Act, passed on March 27, is the PPP, the Paycheck Protection Program (not to be confused with “Princess Protection Program” the 2009 Disney Channel Original Movie). 

 The PPP funds loans for small businesses in an effort to prevent them from laying off workers and shutting their doors.  It provides loan forgiveness, as long as the money is used for “documented payroll costs, covered mortgage interest payments, covered rent payments, and covered utilities.” 

U.S. Treasury Secretary Steven T. Mnuchin and U.S. Small Business Administration Administrator Jovita Carranza stated, “The SBA has processed more than 14 years’ worth of loans in less than 14 days.”

However, the PPP ran out of money in just 2 weeks, and many small businesses did not get any relief. There is a lot of controversy surrounding how the PPP was executed. Some feel that it is the insurance companies’ job to help businesses, not the government. Additionally, funds were given on a first-come, first-served basis, and many large chain restaurants and other corporations have been claiming billions in PPP loans, preventing many actual small businesses from receiving aid.

 On March 23, Congress passed a bill to replenish the loan fund with $310 billion and set requirements for the Trump administration to implement a testing plan. This gives hope to small businesses that they will be able to receive aid on this round. The national testing plan will hopefully allow some lockdowns to be lifted and small businesses to reopen.

A Reflection

What was intended to become an international news column very quickly turned into a coronavirus column with a rapid turn of events. When I started this column in February, I almost didn’t write a coronavirus article; I thought by the time it was published coronavirus would be old news. Boy, was I wrong. 

They say hindsight is 20/20 (and it’s the year 2020. Coincidence? I think not). If I could go back in time to February and write that article differently, I would have voiced more urgency, or at the very least have told myself to appreciate every minute on campus, because within a month everything would change.

I revisited the transcript of my interview with Dr. Ken Hayashida about coronavirus from the February issue, and it felt like a time machine to a whole other time. 

“What we really need in the United States is really high accuracy diagnostic testing that physicians and health professionals can rely on to make confirmatory or exclusionary diagnoses that someone has or doesn’t have the virus” 

Dr. Hayashida was absolutely correct. We needed better testing to get ahead of the virus in order to prevent any disruptions to our daily lives. That interview was truly a portent to what was about to ensue.The irony behind all of this is that 2 months later we still don’t have enough testing kits and medical resources to fully tackle this pandemic. 

 In an interview with NPR, Dr. Bruce Meyer, president of Jefferson Health said, “we're short of testing in the way we would like to carry out testing in order to understand everyone who might be infected or has any kind of symptomatology, much less be able to catch asymptomatic carriers [...] Essentially, every day we're competing with other places that need testing.” 

The way that we, including myself, treated this virus in its initial stages says a lot about us as a society. What happened in China and Italy were like movie trailers for what would happen in the US. We saw their schools shut down, their restaurants close, events get cancelled, yet it was all on the other side of the world, so we didn’t seem to care.

If anything, this experience should teach us all to open our eyes and listen (or as Señora Salkowitz would say, “¡Mira y escucha!”) to what’s happening in the world. It is so easy to stay in our little bubbles and only focus on what affects us, but there is so much to learn from others. 

That is the whole intention behind this column. We can all work on being more open and aware of things happening not only in other countries, but also in other states, other cities, other neighborhoods. Knowledge is power, my friends.

QuaranTeens: Journals From The Staff

Anya Ernst - Co-Editor-in-Chief

How are you? I am not doing well, but I’m sure you know that, because after all this is all your fault. 

They say that Orange County is going to be opening up this month, but I’m not sure if that’s such a good idea. It seems like the second it hit 85 degrees everyone just forgot about you. They went to the beach, threw parties, and protested to make you leave. It doesn’t make any sense to me. I think it’s pretty clear that I am not your biggest fan, but you’re essential. We aren’t ready to get rid of you. Don’t they understand that if we stop having you around, this whole pandemic will last longer?

You cancelled my Prom, my graduation, I don’t think you will pack your bags before summer, but now, I don’t even know if I will be able to go to college in the Fall. Take my senior year, take summer, but please please don’t take my first semester at college. I feel like I’m stuck in the middle, Quarantine, I want you to go but I know that it’s not the right thing to do. A few states have opened back up and even some colleges have confirmed that they will begin classes on campus in the fall but is that okay?

Looking back on the beginning of this year or even the beginning of March, who would have thought we would experience a pandemic? Thousands of people are affected, and unfortunately here in the United States the numbers are increasing. I never thought something like this could happen to me, and I’m not even getting the worst of it. 

I have to thank you though, Quarantine, while you have exposed a lot of bad into the world (like a lot...we need to talk about that), you have brought me some much needed time to breathe. This year has been so hectic for me; it actually has been nice to have time to do things I love that I’ve neglected. I’m making jewelry, gardening, writing, and, get this, working out. Can you believe it? I am working out, and it feels good! I am getting a full night's sleep and my mental health is improving immensely. However, I could have gone with like a few weeks to recharge, not you know, two months and counting. 

Anyway, I’ll let you get back to disrupting life as we know it, or whatever you’re doing today. I really hope you reconsider my past offer to speed up this whole process because this is getting old Quarantine, and I know you can do better. Write back soon!

Sincerely, 

Anya Ernst

P.S. I’m serious, let’s end this whole thing, okay?

Surprisingly, I’m Doing Okay

Kyle Keller - Multimedia Co-Editor & Evolution Radio Host

Lately, I’ve been keeping a careful measure of how and when my day goes sour. It happens randomly — I’ll be plodding along, chipping away small pieces from big projects, picking up the guitar and losing myself for an hour, reading, doodling, YouTubing, when my mood, invisibly and imperceivably, tanks. Whatever I’d been doing before feels like a chore I’ll be stuck doing until the end of time. And then, other days, a simple act will feel like rain speckling the ground for the first time after a long drought. Holes-style. You know the feeling.

The weirdest thing? The rate at which I ascend and descend in moods has been completely un-impacted by the coronavirus pandemic. In a big way, nothing’s changed; some days in school, I’d be dragging my feet through Animation and then, a PB&J later, feel like conquering the world. Both are entirely disconnected from reality. I have as many swings when I can’t leave the house as when I can.

This realization, among others, has brought me to an unexpected conclusion: as much as things have changed, the landscape inside my head is exactly the same. Sure, a lot of it is due to my unique circumstances — I am supported by my parents, one of whom has a recession-proof job; I don’t have a mental illness or condition to worry about, not even a minor one; I do well in long periods of relative social isolation; I always have plenty to do; and I live in a place with access to trails, parks, and beaches — but, all the same, it’s a surprise. Considering that I’ve lost graduation, senior prom, Grad Night, the surety of going to college in the fall (even thinking about Santa Cruz fills me with a weird “hope-hopelessness” milkshake), and the ability to say goodbye to people I know and love and will probably never see again, I’m happy. I’m OK.

I’m still doing wacky things with my friends. A couple of days ago, two local pals and I rode our bikes down to Aliso Canyon at nightfall, snuck through a golf course, and sat by the ocean for an hour or two. It was a journey that never would’ve been possible without the coronavirus — in the golf course’s active state, we would’ve been caught immediately, since we were very much trespassing — and that was made all the better by the bioluminescent algae that shot a neon blue glow through the crashing waves. As we slunk across the fairway through near-complete darkness, shone on by a full moon that we’d initially mistaken for a too-bright porchlight, I could almost fool myself into believing that the coronavirus didn’t exist.

I’m still making art. On May 5th, I released an album of original songs, something I’ve wanted to do for about a year now. I recorded every single one of them in my 2003 Toyota Camry — some in the library parking lot, where I had to deal with annoying kids on bikes and a cop who wanted to make sure I wasn’t doing drugs; but most in my garage, pulling late nights beneath the buzz of a broken LED. Releasing it would’ve felt like throwing something into the Great Void of the Internet if not for congratulatory texts from my friends and people who’d liked the album. It feels good to put something out in the world. Different than it would be if I could have social contact… but still good and very much OK.

And, the clincher — I’m still looking forward to the future. UC Santa Cruz surely awaits me, whether in the fall or a little later. I can hardly wait to live in a trashed-out dorm room, start a psych rock band, do crazy stuff in the adventure-rich territory around Highway 1, join the local punk scene, and fall dangerously and unwisely in love with someone. Beyond that is a big, beautiful life that I’ve got too many ideas on how to fill. This little ol’ global pandemic just needs to peter out, and I’ll be more OK than ever.

But things aren’t OK. The world is falling apart in more ways than one. Do I have a weird kind of survivor’s guilt? Absolutely! Is this news? No. I’m constantly aware of the suffering going on around me and know that, despite the movements I involve myself in and the mindsets I try to impart to others, I can’t do anything other than be the absolute best person that I can be.

Does it stop me from being happy? Maybe it should, but it doesn’t. I’m still utterly in love with life and the prospect of living more of it. No sudden mood swing, prom cancellation, or period of self-quarantine can tarnish that.

How Are OCSA Students Fairing With Online Learning?

Monica Johnson - Staff Writer

Since that fateful Thursday in March when we received word that our everyday circumstances were changing, OCSA has undergone what has become known as distance learning. Because several factors stand in the way of some students' ability to participate in online learning, grades as of March 12 can only improve. Those of us who are still participating whether it is to continue to improve grades, study for upcoming AP tests, or simply to pass the time, spend hours on zoom class discussions, google classroom, and online resources for when you can’t ask your teacher how to do trigonometric functions. Getting used to this new style of education has resulted in very mixed reviews, and has called for many changes.

Some students, such as Chas Horton (ACT’22) see the opportunity to relax their schedule as highly positive. “It’s relaxing to just have to do the work and to be able to do it in the comfort of our own home, on our terms,” Horton adds.

Kyle Keller (CW ‘20) shares similar sentiments, feeling that school took up so much of his time and energy. While he describes isolation as a downside, he says “Now I can do my own thing — make progress on personal projects, play music all the time, read a bunch of books I’ve been meaning to get to — and have school be a side time investment.” With all the leftover time with quarantine, it is no wonder students are seeing it as a chance to stop and take a breath.

However, many see distance learning as more difficult than the typical school experience. “At first I don’t think teachers understood how overwhelming everything was, there were so many assignments,” Anica Sherry (IM ‘21) says. Students frequently expressed how the amount of work assigned after school closure was in reality far more than most homework they had previously encountered.

Natalie Gandolf (PD ‘21) noted that distance learning sounds plausible in theory, with the freedom to complete your assignments at your own pace and more time left over for personal affairs. While it allows her to focus her time and energy “I can’t distribute my time to all my classes evenly which includes the classes with the teachers I like,” Gandolf adds. “it's kind of a shame that the two options for school are having responsibilities and being stressed, or having no deadlines and being in a tired and aimless mindset”

Similar to many at OCSA, Julia Motakef (ACT ‘21) regrets not enjoying education in person while she was at school. She longs for the simple interactions during classes and time with friends that is relatively impossible to experience right now. Noting her collaborative and social nature, Motakef admits “I'm realizing how important school really is. I can't wait for my senior year to start, and I never thought I would say that because growing up is scary but...I just want to be in school again.”

It’s clear that regardless of whether OCSA students are engaging in distance learning, most are looking to the future for hope, wanting simply for some normalcy at this point.

TV Wasteland!

Frankie Fanelli - Executive Editor & Online Co-Editor-in-Chief

Just before the end of school, OCSA Evolution sat down with Ryan Flaherty, a senior in the Culinary Arts & Hospitality conservatory as well as the CEO of TV Wasteland. TV Wasteland is a website that Flaherty started with the goal of covering “breaking news, television reviews, and business recaps from a teenage perspective.” Flaherty was eager to bring the world of television reporting and media “a unique perspective that the industry is lacking” and she succeeded in not only doing just that, but also in building a company that expanded faster and reached levels of success higher than she ever expected.

In our Q&A with Flaherty, Evolution asked her to tell us about TV Wasteland: what it is and what the company stands for. “I started TV Wasteland in January of [2019], planning it, and we ended up launching in June. We focus on interviews, covering news, reviews, industry analysis, trailers, and a lot more.” Flaherty stated that she got her own start in working with TV and film after having a change of heart over her own future career path. “I think it was about 2 years ago was when I decided I no longer wanted to be an elementary school teacher, and wanted to work in the film industry, which was a very large switch, but I was so, so anxious to work in the film industry and so I started a club at OCSA and I was doing presentations and it was great. And then I was like, I’m putting so much effort into these presentations, [...] what if I created a website for the presentations to live on? And then I started writing, found WordPress all of that, and I realized that this could be so much bigger than just a club.” She also recalled the moment she realized her passion lies in the television industry: “I think that websites cover television for teens in a way that isn’t really realistic, they’re like ‘Riverdale!’ and stuff like that and I think it underestimates us a little bit. I think for me it was Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, the Netflix series, was the first one that I really followed. I read about the development of it and everything and that was really the beginning of my interest in all of this.

Evolution also asked Flaherty to elaborate on the process of building up the website and getting it started once the idea and the concept for the company was there. “Yes!” Flaherty responded excitedly, “That’s my favorite part of the story, so absolutely. In January [of 2018] I decided I wanted to upload all of my club presentations to a website and started working on- oh my god I can’t even remember the website developer name, but [...] I ended up losing all of the work because we had a disagreement with customer service on a few aspects of it so I ended up moving everything to WordPress, starting over, and when I was starting over I was like, ‘Wait, this could be a lot bigger than just a club if we cover news the way I want to cover it.’ Everything about [TV Wasteland] is what I wanted that I just wasn’t getting: news that is condensed and meant for teenagers and what I want to see. Upcoming TV trailers all in the same place, which I was SO surprised isn’t anywhere else! So that started and then from there it was just me, Matt [Gannon, CW alum ‘19], and Aaliyah [Mayer, IA ‘20] and we were just doing news, the TV Tour Guide, and reviews and that’s it. And at that point I was writing our TV Tour

Guide personally. From there we expanded to a team of three people to twenty, six months later, and so now I’m running a very, very large team with a level of executives and then people working below them. It was all very fast. It was six months planning, which was the slow part, we launched June 1st, 2019, and then June 3rd we submitted our first application to cover a television festival called Series Fest in Colorado and we got accepted within the first 48 hours of the website being up, which was incredible. So I flew out to Colorado and covered that festival professionally, did some interviews, and that’s really what kicked us off.”

But covering Series Fest wasn’t the only run in that TV Wasteland has had with the professional world of television- a few months ago Flaherty got an opportunity to visit Netflix headquarters. “Netflix has been pretty amazing throughout this entire thing. One of our first interviews was with Maitreyi Ramakrishnan, who’s the star of a new Mindy Kaling series called Never Have I Ever, and when we started doing interviews we reached out to her to see if she wanted to do an interview and they said ‘We’ll circle back to you’ and all that. And then they did! Matt, our Director of Talent Relations, interviewed her over the phone back in November. That was really the kickstarter of the entire exclusive interview section of the website so we are very, very indebted to Netflix, they’ve been incredible through this entire thing.” Some of TV Wasteland’s more recent celebrity interviews include ones with Nicole Maines of The CW’s Supergirl and Maxwell Jenkins of Netflix’s Lost in Space.

And if all of that doesn’t sound impressive enough, Flaherty made sure to emphasise the fact that a big motivation in launching the company was the fact that women are an extremely under-represented group in the TV industry and therefore tend to be at a disadvantage when trying to break into it. “I wanted to hire a predominantly female team to start working in the business early so they have more experience and can get into the industry easier,” Flaherty said. “So, working with a- oh god- a very, very predominantly female team has been [amazing]. We have a few boys but it’s definitely female-run. All of the executive team is female, which is pretty great.” Flaherty also had a lot of valuable insight on the television industry’s current manner of tackling the issue of normalizing and adding more female representation both in front of the camera and behind the scenes. “I think [the industry is] doing pretty well. I think it’s definitely been a slow process so far, but I’m happy with where we’re at and where we’re going. I think the most important thing is really starting at the ground level. It’s not going to happen over night that you’ll just be able to say, ‘Oh, we’re finally accepting women now!’ I mean, you really have to start with schools teaching it. It’s like STEM, you know? You have to go back to the foundational level, you can’t just expect that women are going to become CEOs and executives, you have to start that training early in high school or middle school, that sort of thing. So I think it’s pretty great so far but I think there’s definitely a lot of work to do.

Finally, Flaherty reflected on the beginnings of TV Wasteland nearly a year and a half ago now and how much it’s grown since: “...This is definitely a team project, I mean there’s just no way I could be doing this without the [team’s] incredible writers, media managers, reviewers, all that, and I just had no idea that we were going to make it as far as we have. I just could not be more grateful that we are where we are.

You can visit TV Wasteland at tvwasteland.org, on Instagram at @tvwaste, or Twitter at @thetvwasteland

RECIPE: Pantry Chocolate Chip Cookies

Lauren Le - Staff Writer

Non-negotiables

1 ¼ cup of whatever flour you can find

½ tsp baking powder

¼ tsp baking soda

1 pinch salt

¾  cup any sugar (just don’t do ALL brown sugar, it’ll change the moisture content) 

¼  cup plus 1.5 tsp any oil

⅛ cup plus 1.5 tsp water

¼ tsp vanilla extract

Creative interpretations

Up to 1 ¼ cup of whatever you can find in your pantry! 

Suggestions: Chocolate chips, shredded coconut, chopped nuts, or even raisins, if you’re a monster.

Instructions

1. Combine the flour, salt, and leaveners in a bowl. Then add your chocolate chips or whatever you’re using (personally, I used a chopped chocolate bar because it makes me feel boujee, coconut flakes because they’re good, and flaked almonds because my mom bullied me into putting them in). 

2. In a separate bowl, whisk the oil, sugar, water and vanilla vigorously until your arm cramps up, about 2 minutes.  

3. Fold the dry mixture into the wet ingredients, careful not to overmix to prevent overly dense and tough cookies. (My go-to folding method, run your spatula around the sides of the bowl from 12 to 7 o’clock, then flip the dough over itself from 7 to 12). 

4. As soon as the dough homogenizes, cover and refrigerate for 12-24 hours. You can skip this step, but only if you want awful cookies. This resting period helps flavors develop, especially since you’re missing some from the lack of butter and eggs. So please, don’t skip this step. 

5. Once your dough is done resting, preheat the oven to 350℉. Scoop the dough using an ice cream scoop or manually roll them into 2-inch spheres. Place them on a prepared baking sheet and refrigerate for 10 minutes so they maintain their shape while baking. 

6. Bake the cookies until the edges are golden brown, about 12 minutes. Transfer to a plate or cooling rack, waiting till completely cool to serve. But who am I kidding, you’re gonna want these fresh out of the oven. 

   This recipe is adapted from Food 52 and Ovenly Bakery’s Secretly Vegan Chocolate Chip Cookies. Yes they are vegan, but since that has a more negative connotation, I’m branding them as shelf stable to appeal to people more.

   If you try this recipe at home, let the Evolution staff know! Post a picture and tag @ocsaevolution!

Diggin’ It in Bowser's Dungeon

Karl Peterson - Staff Advisor

It has been more than eight weeks since the pandemic hit full stride and the school shut its doors. I, and my family with whom I have been sheltering-in-place, have managed to stay healthy, both physically and mentally.

But, I should not give the wrong impression. I miss school. Badly. I certainly don’t miss the stress, dead- lines and the alarm ringing at 5:20 a.m., but I do miss seeing the students and the energy of a thriving school. Sometimes you hear people say that they miss their job and you don’t believe them. Well, believe me. It’s true.

At first, I thought distance learning sounded easy. Just transfer the lessons we learn in class into a digital format. The students will all buy in and easily adjust to this new style of learning. But it didn’t work that way. In most ways, it’s more stressful. There’s just as much to do, but our network of people who help our day-to-day lives is some- where sheltering in its place and that means less time to do the things we need to do. But you don’t need to read me com- plaining about distance learning, you all have your own stories.

I am thankful to my son’s second grade teacher. She has done a wonderful job, making her curriculum into a game quest and holding daily Zoom meetings, but let’s face it, teaching our children has become the full-time job of most parents. Even though my son is mostly unwilling to do his school work, he is learning, trying to make the best of a bad situation, and teaching- teaching everyone who will listen about the Super Mario Bros. universe.

Every time you turn a corner or climb a staircase in my house, there’s Mario or Bowser or Toad. There’s Alexa playing the “Super Mario 3-D World” theme song over and over again. There’s seemingly an infinite number of young men, playing Nintendo games, old and new, for people to watch on YouTube. And now, all the Koopalings are on Super Mario Maker 2 and that’s just about as much as we can handle.

It’s not a bad place, though, the Super Mario universe. There’s no coronavirus there. Sure, people are constantly kidnapping princesses and haunting mansions, but the enemies are cute and easily defeated.

And hey, creating a mental encyclopedia of the Mario universe is, while not exactly educational, helping to foster some life skills. Perhaps the best example is how, now, the precocious eight-year-old wants to make video games. He learned of a family friend who is in school for video game design and he wanted to pitch a game idea to him. This is what he wrote to that friend:

“Okay now here we go: It should be like a Greek Myth game so you can fight like minotaurs and so on. I’ll need you to figure out the monsters and stuff for me and there should be like more than one boss. Like let’s start with Zeus then Poseidon then hades then like Hercules. I’m not sure if Hercules is Greek but I’m sure you know, so if you know text me. And then I’m trying not to make this to complicated for a second game. So I’ll just have the final boss after Hercules so you play as a gladiator with a sword 🗡. you start out as a slave and you defeat your owner as a intro boss fight. and in house there is a lot of stage one guards with 2 stabs. and then after 3 levels we get to the owner with some basic moves that you need to learn to dodge. And then we go out into the street and fight stage one bad gladiators with two stabs two but what makes them different from the stage one guards is that they have swords to and the guards can just punch ✌ so It’s getting late and I think I’m going to rap it up for now I’ll do another text tomorrow see ya ✌️for now”

I’m not sure where he came up with all of that, but I do know one thing: there’s no Coronavirus in that world either, and we’re all looking for a place like that.

On the Rise: Highlighting OCSA's Up and Coming Musicians

Anya Ernst - Co-Editor-in-Chief, Kyle Keller - Multimedia Co-Editor, and Cas Kesig - Managing Editor

Essay Devastates Two Seniors

Corey LoDuca - Staff Writer & Louis Tonkovich - Satire Editor

“Strong intro yet the essay does not live up to the promise of the intro. The judge is a hypocrite who is only concerned with public image. Surface read, read deeper and question the Judge’s motives; you fail to see the irony and the satire.”

-Prose Analysis 19th-Century Timed Write, Aeries Gradebook

Tragedy struck Corey LoDuca and Louis Tonkovich late on the evening of March 15th in the year of our Lord 2020, when they received some shocking feedback (printed above for your convenience).

Just as the two AP Lit students were growing accustomed to Distance Learning, and the variety of complications presented by the Coronavirus pandemic, they were informed of their incompetent performance on a timed essay written about Nathaniel Hawthorne’s “The House of Seven Gables.” Written back before the school closure, it had been all but cast out of their minds since then.

“I can’t believe that I didn’t read deep enough,” LoDuca said tearfully over the phone. 

Before the gut-wrenching news, both LoDuca and Tonkovich had felt pretty confident about their writing. Tonkovich was an aspiring journalist, and LoDuca was looking forward to studying English in college. Now, however, these dreams have been dashed against the rocks of constructive criticism. 

The record shows that LoDuca cried herself to sleep on that fateful night and her parents report the newly 18-year-old’s tantrum as being “a bit childish.” But there is no way for a family to comprehend the level of self-doubt associated with her C+. 

Likewise, Tonkovich, who is only 17, reportedly threw their laptop out of a nearby window immediately after hearing the news. Because of quarantine, Tonkovich cannot retrieve their laptop, which has been heavily rained on in recent weeks. Unable to complete any work digitally, they were forced to turn in all of their schoolwork by carrier pigeon. 

“Looking back now, I can’t believe that I failed to see the subtle irony of a 19th-century piece of literature,” said Tonkovich despairingly. “It’s like I’ve personally let Nathaniel down.”

“I’m immeasurably disappointed in myself,” echoed LoDuca. “I thought the piece was called ‘The House of Several Gabriels’ and it was all downhill from there.”

Upon learning Hawthorne’s masterpiece was actually titled “The House of Seven Gables”, LoDuca expressed even more confusion, claiming she had no clue what a “gable” was.

Let it be known that the story features one singular character named Judge Pyncheon, whom the narrator describes in a seemingly favorable manner. However, it is carefully implied that the image-obsessed Judge is a hypocrite who secretly acts in contradiction to his supposed beliefs. A “gable” is the triangular part of a house that sits under the edge of a pitched roof. No one in the text is named Gabriel.

This reading comprehension struggle came out of nowhere for the two students. Tonkovich received acclaim for their analysis of Swift’s “A Modest Proposal,” last year in AP Lang, and LoDuca frequently visits the comedic news website The Onion. Up until now, both were very good at identifying satire.

“I don’t know, maybe it had something to do with only having fifteen minutes to read the passage, and then immediately having to construct a well-developed thesis,” Tonkovich said.

A rewrite opportunity has been offered to unfortunate students like LoDuca and Tonkovich, who stupidly overlooked the satire of the piece. 

Tonkovich, however, still has doubts. “I just… have so much trauma associated with “The House of Several Gabriels” at this point, and I don’t know if I would be able to keep myself together,” they said.

Tonkovich then confessed that they had a suspicion that Nathaniel Hawthorne had a personal vendetta against them, and how the AP Lit curriculum was rigged by a shadowy conspiracy of people named Gabriel. 

Both students expressed gratitude over OCSA’s new distance learning program, as attending school in person would have likely led to constant bullying and harassment targeted at both LoDuca and Tonkovich. 

“We would have deserved it,” LoDuca admitted, “After all, we failed to see the irony and satire.”

OCSA Teen Arrested After Failed Insurrection

Louis Tonkovich - Satire Editor

BREAKING NEWS - Last week a violent insurrection swept across the OCSA campus, perpetrated by Louis Tonkovich (MT ‘20) who is now in custody. 

Authorities have called the incident a “pathetic kind of coup d’etat,” and said that Tonkovich destroyed an estimated $131,200 of school property. 

“Like the Bolsheviks raiding the palaces of the Czar, I have decided to declare sovereignty over OCSA’s campus, and all its buildings.”  said Tonkovich in a hastily written proclamation that police found at the scene on Friday.  

Under the cover of darkness, Tonkovich trespassed onto OCSA grounds late on the night of Thursday May 7th, waving a homemade flag for a group called “The Louis Tonkovich Liberation Army.” The flag featured a highly stylized image of Tonkovich’s face, as well as the lyrics to several obscure Weird Al songs. 

After breaking into the Tower, Tonkovich proceeded to rigorously vandalize every available surface with a huge, custom made black sharpie. Surveillance footage shows the senior stumbling around the lobby, shouting things like, “I’m the next Banksy,” and “Thoreau would be so proud!” Tonkovich then collected every hall pass they could find, and set them alight in a huge bonfire, which set off every smoke alarm in the building, but miraculously did not spread. It was these alarms that initially alerted the police to Tonkovich’s seditious activities.  

In the breezeway, footage shows Tonkovich being partly crushed by a falling vending machine, which had been tipped over by the agitated senior. “Stupid capitalist food-prisons,” Tonkovich said later when asked about the incident. 

After scorching the Tower lobby, Tonkovich broke through the glass walls of the DMS with a large mallet. They spray painted the words “False God” across the Ralph S. Opacic statue, and then toppled the statue over in an act of iconoclasm. 

Tonkovich was arrested 10 minutes later by the Santa Ana Police. Tonkovich was found thrashing furiously on 10th Street, apparently trying to start a one-person mosh pit, in a final act of rebellion against OCSA’s guidelines, which they described as “autocratic crypto-fascist dogma.”

“They were pretty bruised up when we found ‘em,” Officer Peter Spronsen said later of the arrest, “They were swinging their arms around violently, and had lost a shoe.” Once in custody, it wasn’t long before Tonkovich attempted an elaborate escape from their cell, which almost immediately failed. They were also overheard saying loudly, to no one in particular, “I’m not locked up in here with you, YOU’RE locked up in here with ME!” 

Later, during an interrogation session, Tonkovich admitted that they had been planning a violent uprising for a number of years, and that the COVID-19 outbreak had given them the perfect opportunity. Tonkovich seemed confident that this fiasco would go down in history along with the French Revolution, the Mexican Civil War and Occupy Wall Street as a brave resistance to systemic oppression. 

After this confession, Tonkovich went back to accusing all the police officers of being neo-imperialist authoritarians. 

The Louis Tonkovich Liberation Army has subsequently been classified as a terrorist organization by the FBI. Luckily, Tonkovich appears to have been its only member, so it is unlikely that the “group” still poses a threat to society. 

After their arrest, Tonkovich sought help from the American Civil Liberties Union, claiming that they were acting in the interests of freedom, and against the tyrannical oppression of OCSA’s authority. The ACLU promptly dismissed the case. 

Because of their behavior, Tonkovich has been banned from graduation, and all other school events. These punishments are largely meaningless, since COVID-19 has forced OCSA to cancel these events anyway.

“I wouldn’t want to go to their bourgeois, classist, totalitarian, antidemocratic, corporatist, neoliberal graduation anyway.” Tonkovich said smugly. 

PIERCE TRIES: Pierce Tries the Future

Kyle Keller - Multimedia Co-Editor

During a time when everyone is, in a sense, “Trying Coronavirus,” there seems to be an astonishing lack of new things for Pierce Lewis (IA ‘21) to try. Goodness knows I’ve come up with ideas — “Pierce Tries Milking a Cow,” in particular, was one I wish I’d been able to get to — but just about all of them wouldn’t be feasible without flouting social distancing laws. Mr. Lewis can try things on his own, of course, but where’s the fun if he doesn’t have a journalist tagging along and quizzing him every few minutes? 

Regardless, I knew I had to write a new Pierce Tries. One way or another, I had to wrap up my role in the saga that I consider to be one of the best things I’ve done in high school. It was then that I realized that we’re all facing new experiences — whether after the pandemic or during — and, this time, it’s not just Mr. Lewis doing the dirty work. What are previous Pierce Tries cast members up to? What are they facing? Fortunately, it didn’t violate the six foot rule to find out. So I did something difficult, unexpected, and off-the-wall crazy: I texted my friends and talked to them about their lives.

The answers to my first question — “how are you doing?” — were generally the same: okay in some ways, less so in others. Procrastinating and YouTube came up often: Mr. Lewis mentioned that he’d been zoning out by watching a ton of travel vlogs, and Kip Schwartz (CV ‘20) of “Pierce Tries a Taco” told me he’d been putting off a lot of schoolwork. Yet, to my surprise, there were glimmers of productivity as well. Chelsea Schack (CW ‘20) of “Pierce Tries Sushi” has started writing more, especially elaborate murder mystery parties she hosts on Zoom calls with her friends. Ana Soto (PD ‘20) of “Taco” and “Sushi” has been keeping herself occupied with arts and crafts — it’s “the name of the game.”

It’s when I asked about what would be happening after quarantine that things got interesting. Maddy Ernst (CV ‘20) of “Taco,” who has recently decided to pursue music at a conservatory college in Scotland, laid out elaborate plans for traveling between her school, Croatia, Greece, and London throughout her college years. Later, she might teach music, start a band, or both. (She’s also started embroidering again.) Monica Johnson (MT ‘21) of “Sushi” related her difficulty in both being a diligent student and letting herself enjoy life — “EVERYONE has heard me talk about my ‘life can’t pass you by’ Ferris Bueller inspired motto,” she said, but she can’t let that jeopardize the prosperous academic future she knows she has lying ahead.

Mr. Lewis had a great response. While he’s not entirely sure what career he’ll end up going after, he knows what he wants to do: travel. “My main dream right now,” he told me, “is to live in a relatively small village somewhere in europe and have a little bakery.” Another one of his goals, Mr. Lewis said, is to keep country-hopping and become the “cool uncle.” “When my siblings have families I want their kids to be like ‘can we visit uncle pierce in Japan’ (or where ever i am at).” This is the same guy that, just a few months ago, had never tried tacos, sushi, curry, or soup. Heck, half of those he still hasn’t tried.

After a hearty chat about the future, I asked my friends — in a non-sequitur kind of way — if they’d tried any good food lately. Schack mentioned veggie patties (“also, a frittata”); Soto brought up Mediterranean food, PostMates, and her boyfriend’s dad-like grilling skills; Johnson described a chocolate churro cake made for her brother’s birthday, with Filipino Adobo tacos on the side; Schwartz recalled his brother’s homemade fries; and Ernst talked at length about her “BOMB,” “like, off the CHARTS” chocolate chip cookies.

But I didn’t ask Mr. Lewis that question. Instead, I asked him if he thought that — over the course of his travels in the not-so-distant future — he’d ever try the one thing he’s refused to try since the start of Pierce Tries: soup. The answer was less than I was hoping for, but exactly what I expected. “I wont willingly try it if I dont have to,” Mr. Lewis said. “If i ever find myself in a situation where i have to and there is no other option, then probably yes but I dont see myself trying it anytime soon.”

In the end, I know Mr. Lewis will live by those words. Maybe one day, he’ll discover soup on his own and realize what he’s missing — maybe he’ll be able to recall it later, like a sort of “a-ha” moment: “I was traveling through the Himalayas one day, and the most delicious smell wafted over from a nearby village…”

From this point on, though, I’ll have to be content in imagining Pierce’s new experiences instead of recording them. But that’s okay. The best moments in life are seldom written down, anyway.

Art Patronship During a Pandemic

Molly Rae - Staff Writer

One of the defining characteristics of artistic creation is the audience that receives it, whether the audience be an expressive house at a Broadway theatre, popcorn-eaters in reclining chairs at a refurbished cinema or gallery millers examining masterpieces at an art museum. Oftentimes, audiences are not merely audiences- they are communities, summoned together by a shared admiration for the arts. As a devoted theatre patron myself, the first restriction during the era of the Pandemic was also the most heartbreaking restriction: I not only attend shows for the exposure to thrilling storytelling (amongst a myriad of other reasons, including supporting independent artists and institutions), but also for the transcendental, inimitable sensation of collectively receiving emotions as a unified mass numbering hundreds, sometimes even thousands. The greatest gift of art- be it theatre, visual art, cinema, fashion, etc.-  is its ability to access a population, no matter how diverse or varied, with an all-encompassing reach. 

But right now, with a prohibition on large public gatherings, the odd divinity of simultaneously screaming at a horror movie with a roomful of strangers is impossible to experience. And while the preventative measure is necessary for controlling the spread of Covid-19, it not only removes audience symbiosis from existence, but most tragically devastates artistic industries across the globe. While art is a gift, it is also a source of revenue, and independent theatres, cinemas and creators are in dire financial stress. Luckily, performers and venues are leveraging the power of the Internet to continue circulating their artistic contributions, and also raise money for various charities through unique online performances and exhibitions. 

Here, I have compiled a list of virtual locales that support independent institutions, offer access to both new and old content, and generally host hours of entertainment to fill your isolated time.

Kino Marquee, kinomarquee.com

Kino Marquee is a website birthed during the Coronavirus Pandemic that streams new movie releases, many of them international, that you would often drive to a film-buff operated independent movie theater to see. In fact, the platform was conceptualized to support said cinemas, as you buy a ticket to one of the movies from participating independent movie theaters during a specific time frame, and have online access for a limited time after purchase, emulating the experience of actually attending a film. Current movies available include the British import, Extra Ordinary and the Brazilian Cannes Film Festival Grand Jury Prize winner, Bacurau.

Virtual art galleries and museum tours

Many art museums and galleries are offering interactive, 360 online viewing rooms, where you can click on works of art to learn more, or scroll through pieces and their descriptions (museums include the likes of the Getty, London’s National Gallery and Paris’ Musée d’Orsay). The Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam published a seven-part video tour of the gallery on their YouTube channel.

The Shows Must Go On!, The Shows Must Go On! YouTube Channel

Free full-length professional recordings of musicals (so far exclusive to Andrew Lloyd Webber’s canon of work) premiering and available for 48 hours every weekend.

Sling TV, sling.com

Access to over 50 live TV channels for free (Cable TV, at no cost!!) every night from 5PM-12AM. All you need to do is to sign up on sling.com and you can access the offerings from any device.

National Theatre at Home, National Theatre YouTube Channel

Free full-length stage recordings of plays uploaded every British Thursday night (American Friday morning) and available for one week, filmed directly on the stage of London’s National Theatre.

Ken Burns in the Classroom, pbslearningmedia.org

Free streaming of famed documentarian Ken Burns’ full programs on the PBS Learning website.

Globe Player, Shakespeare’s Globe YouTube Channel

The historic Globe Theatre is premiering full-length live-tapings of their famous Shakespeare productions on their YouTube channel for a limited time.

Benefit readings and concerts on YouTube

Both stage actors and TV casts are uniting via Zoom to do live readings of plays and teleplays to raise money for various charities (a Big Mouth table reading and Grace and Frankie table reading are available on the Netflix is a Joke YouTube channel), and live streams of musical revues are also a popular Broadway community occurrence on the video platform.

Social media events and live streams

Keep a general eye out for live streams and announcements on your favorite celebrity accounts or entertainment news profiles on platforms such as Instagram or Twitter. Many quarantined performers are hosting live sessions, both solo and featuring their famous contacts, raising money for charities through everything from live concerts to stand-up sets. 

Although remote viewing of art does not replicate the singular occasions of casts suspending their performances for ethereal seconds as their audiences double over in laughter, or munching on inexplicably delectable popcorn served at those local independent movie theaters (and ONLY those independent movie theaters), I hope this list provides you with options allowing you to both enjoy the art you love, while also supporting industries and creators adapting to a crisis.

Virtual OCSA Bingo

Anya Ernst - Co-Editor-in-Chief

OCSA’s Report Card

Emma Han - Staff Writer

With nearing finals, AP exams, and end of the year grade reports, it’s about time that OCSA got a report card of its own!* From the Charter Renewal to COVID-19, this school year has truly been chaotic, so let’s see how well OCSA has held up!

*Final Grades were determined through a Google Survey submitted by OCSA students varying in grade and conservatory

Horoscopes: May 2020

Anya Ernst - Co-Editor-in-Chief