Ranking Sports Based on How Well OCSA Students Would Do

Lucy Hunter

OCSA notoriously does not have sports. That is, unless you’re counting classes such as Taekwondo or the various dance electives that are offered. And of course, there is Body Conditioning, which is our equivalent of a public high school’s average PE class. However, beyond that, OCSA is a sports-free school. We have no football field, just a measly basketball court. All of this has contributed to OCSA students facing a stereotype of being “unathletic.” 

But… In a hypothetical future where sports took over our campus, would OCSA students succeed? Would we fail miserably or score that touchdown or homerun? (I’m not entirely sure if that’s even the correct lingo.) Today I’ve decided to take on the difficult task of ranking sports based on how well I think the average OCSA student would succeed in them.

10. Football. Any public school kid will tell you how big of a deal football games are. Nevertheless, the mere idea of an OCSA kid willingly stepping into a football uniform seems so unlikely that football has landed itself the 10th spot. 

9. Basketball. Although we have a basketball court, the only knowledge any MT or ACT kid has of basketball is from watching “High School Musical.” Unfortunately, though, our heads aren’t in the game, and we won’t be soaring or flying anytime soon.

8. Boxing. Yikes, do I even have to explain this one?

7. Surfing. I feel like most dance kids have mastered balance well enough to be at least  mediocre at surfing.

6. Volleyball. At one point, we had a volleyball club, and from what I’ve heard, they were pretty good! 

5. Rowing. Rowing comes across as a bit pretentious, but it seems simple enough. Many conservatory duties require severe arm strength (ex. FTV boom operating), so perhaps those kids could apply it to rowing.

4. Bowling. C’mon, all you do is roll a ball down a lane. 

3. Tennis. Fun fact! OCSA has a tennis team, and they’re insanely good!

2. Fencing. MT and ACT students are required to take a stage combat class… I’m sure they would seriously succeed in real-life fencing, right?

1. Track and field. All those hours spent climbing the Tower stairs have prepared us for this moment. Skedaddling to get to class on time is a feeling of terror every OCSA kid has experienced, and it has certainly toned our legs and whipped our stamina into shape. No matter what hurdles we’d have to pass, I’m sure we’d make it to the podium.