Standing in the Corner at Prom

Samuel You

Ah, prom. The glamorous dream of every high school senior, one of the most anticipated events in a student’s youth. Most of the time.

For those unfortunate enough not to have a date on this special night, let’s take a look at some of the popular strategies, and the effectiveness of making the best out of a bad situation.

The Weather / Calendar App(s)

It’s important to keep at least four locations on hand to scroll at any given moment. The more, the better. I like to keep New York, Santa Ana, Chicago and Las Vegas on quick access. Picking relevant locations is crucial as it adds to the ethos of your scrolling in the corner of the room. In a pinch, you can start adding non-existent events to your calendar to appear busy. If asked, it’s an “emergency” and you “really need to schedule this fast.”

Overall, I’d say that this was a 6/10 strategy. Too overdone, and looking back, this was one of the weaker options.

Camping around the Drinks

The refreshments are there for a reason. Using this to your advantage is crucial. Camping around the drinks gives you not only something to do, but more importantly, you look busy. Mastering the intervals in which you visit is an articulate craft, but done perfectly, shows not only skill, but also kills time exceptionally well.

Overall, it's hard to rate this one. However, I’m going to give this an 8/10. Although only mastered with intense attention to detail and acquired skill, done right, it is probably the most efficient strategy.

Endgame

You’re at the end of the line. You’ve run out of apps to open and close and/or your phone died. Joining in on the dance floor in a meaningful way isn’t hard, but it’s best to drain all your other options first. It’s important to familiarize yourself with music likely to be played. Staying on the outskirts of the dance floor with your fellow bachelors can not only be effective at making you look busy, it can also be enjoyable in its own right.

Congratulations! You’re all war-hardened professionals going into next year’s event.