Tower Floors Ranked

Samuel Parigela

Everyone knows that the Tower is the most iconic building on campus, owing to its size and the fact that most academic classes are located there. But if you were ever under the impression that all the Tower floors are the same, I’m here to correct that notion. There is, however, a specific hierarchy of floors in this goofy orange building. Here are the seven floors of the Tower, ranked.

7. Floor 6

It could seem harsh to place the sixth floor at the bottom of this list, but trust me, it’s deserved. The sixth floor is almost the seventh floor, but it’s not. You climb all those stairs but without that unique sense of completion. There might be lots of nice things about this floor, but for the purpose of this list, we’ll ignore those.

6. Floor 1

Sometimes it’s easy to forget that this floor exists, and that, in itself, puts this floor on the lower end of the scale.The lobby is nice, sure, but the transition from the warm brown floor and walls to the cold white of the lockers and classrooms is sudden and somewhat uncanny too. If you were to walk into the lobby for the first time, you likely wouldn’t expect to see a portal to another world. Unless- 

5. Floor 2

It might be appalling to see the second floor ranked so low. But the truth is that apart from the cafeteria, the garden, the balcony, the computer lab, and the microwave (okay, maybe this one’s important), this floor as a whole doesn’t offer much. And no, just because you can get your OCSA cookie here doesn’t guarantee this floor a spot at the top.

4. Floor 5

The fifth floor makes the very middle of this list. And when you think about it, it makes perfect sense—there’s nothing terrible about this floor, and really, there’s nothing particularly special either. 

3. Floor 4

In all honesty, the same can be said about the fourth floor. The only reason the fifth floor ranks lower is because you have to climb an extra flight of stairs to get up there. That might sound like a lame reason, but you have to draw the line somewhere!

2. Floor 7

Placing the highest floor at second probably seems crazy—it is often the most feared floor on students’ schedules. But remember that sense of completion I mentioned earlier? This is where it comes into play. Instead of being tired by the time you reach the seventh floor, maybe try feeling some pride and soaking in the splendor of reaching the top of the Tower. 

1. Floor 3

The third floor is easily the best floor, by a distance (definitely no creative writing bias). It simply has a certain aura that emits infinitely good energy, not to mention the fact that you expend zero energy getting to this floor on the stairs. And how can the floor with the Journalism class on it not be at the top of this list, anyways?

There you have it—the official, definitive, and only correct ranking of the Tower’s floors. It is expected that all opinions henceforth conform to the list above.