Wondrous Wildlife: The Instagram Lurker

Samuel You

Welcome back to “Wondrous Wildlife”.. I’m Samuel, and today I’m taking a look at one of Mother Nature’s rarest creatures in its natural habitat: the Instagram Lurker. The Lurker can rarely be seen slipping in the shadows of popular reels or the hot post of the week. The lucky individual might even be able to catch a glimpse of one of their likes. But sooner or later, the trail will go cold, and they’ll disappear again. Many have tried and failed to scrounge up some sort of pattern from their appearances, some way to discern what their habitats or living conditions might be like. But this elusive brand of Instagram users continues to avoid science’s highest and brightest. 

Interestingly, one method that scientists have proven to be effective is what we call “reel-spamming.” On the off-chance that you can locate the habitat of the Lurker, our researchers have found that overloading them with information, in the form of reels, memes or other interesting posts can show interest in conversation. This display of interest will likely be taken as kindness, eliciting slow, but steady responses. This method is what we like to call  slow burn, with results taking days or sometimes weeks to manifest. However, in certain cases, this method has shown to be effective at getting active DMs from the Lurker. As our most devoted researchers currently enter conversations with this rare species, expect new and exciting scientific literature to be published in the upcoming weeks.

Despite what their secretive exterior might lead you to believe, our observations show that Lurkers are actually usually pleasant individuals. Communities of Lurkers show agreeable interactions with each other. It’s just a shame that they’re so shy. However, some scientists suspect that the Lurker is, on average, a very social individual outside of the wilderness of the for you page, rumored to be quite social outside of the Instagram ecosystem. While all footage regarding the Lurker is speculative, when asked for comments regarding this information, many popular documentary producers declined to share footage. “Wondrous Wildlife” intends to explore this phenomenon further.

The Lurker is a rare, valuable part of the Instagram ecosystem. Supplying a healthy amount of views and likes to the majority of posts on the platform, their continued existence is vital. If you suspect that you may have discovered or are on the verge of discovering a Lurker, remember to approach with kindness, compassion and a steady stream of your best reels. Thank you for joining me on “Wondrous Wildlife.”